Confessions..good for the soul

Isn't that what the ole cliche' says..well I'm feeling "open" and generous so here are a few of my confessions for the day.

1) I recently learned how to use the coffee pot I got a year ago as a house warming present. For me being as tech savvy as I am I couldn't get it right and the pot isn't complicated at.all. Coffe pot 1- Angie 2(made a cup this morning) Well, I tried that one time and the coffee was AWFUL so I just let the pot sit there as kitchen decoration.

2) There are times I'm really insecure about the knowledge in my head. I know a lot of stuff about a lot of different things and sometimes I think I come off as pretentious in situations even though that's not my intention. I'm just well rounded and well versed. It's a blessing and a curse depending on my surroundings.

3) I'm beginning to believe that it is meant for me to be in La even though most of the time I'm looking and longing to being back in TX and I don't know how I feel about this revelation yet.

4) I hate that I have to bust peoples bubbles because they've put me in a box..don't assume you know how I'm going to react, what I'm going to say, what my background is and what my views are on situations or what I like/don't like. Just because I don't "look" like I would (fill in whatever adjective goes here) doesn't mean that I wouldn't. Take the time to get to know me and THEN make your judgements about me.

5) People say that I'm a "good" catch, but sometimes I don't see how I am. Working out some insecurities about myself. I didn't really think I was an insecure person though, but I think everyone has some "issues" that they deal with me included.

6) I don't like passive aggressive people but in some situations, I turn into that person! ughhhh...just thinking about it the hypocriticalness of that makes me mad..why is it hard to just be to the point about stuff?

7) Contrary to popular belief, I'm a very sensitive, loving, caring, sharing, talkative, emotional, touchy feely kinda person with the right person<----thats the golden ticket.

Sharing is caring!'
Brown..out!

Word of the Day!

I changed the title of this blog from what I was initially thinking this morning.

BLISS ..

1. Extreme happiness; ecstasy.
2. The ecstasy of salvation; spiritual joy.
   
   The last 2 or 3 weeks I've been in a state of bliss. I've been really happy with my life, happy with a new found sense of self, happy with my job (even with the move and the venting), happy with my business (aside from the unprofessional client that made me want to strangle him, happy with being the snooze button for someone ..It's amazing that for me to be one to abhor change, at times I gladly embrace it as well. Bliss, extreme happiness; ecstasy. That just sounds JOYFUL doesn't it. Something new is going on in my life right now and I don't know when "it" happened, how "it" happened or how long "it" will have me feeling this way, but man, I'm kinda worried because I have an addictive personality and I'd hate to be strung out behind some bliss!
   
   I did find it interesting that that definition included the ecstacy of spiritual salvation. I remember when I got saved for real (June 2003) and I was totally blissful that's for sure. That's not what I want to talk about though..I wonder where the phrase ignorance is bliss derived from and if it had anything to do with spiritual salvation. Meaning, were they dogging the folks for getting saved? Were they thinking that they're just too ignorant to know that salvation means nothing? I'm not really in a philosophical mood right now but seeing that made me think if some atheist came up with that phrase and people use it unknowingly the true meaning. I have a feeling I'm kinda right though and I'm not saying that in an arrogant manner, but I'm just saying.
   
   
   
   Brown..out!

Blingtastic day!

I made it to my orthodontist appointment this morning and this is the end result. So far it hasn't been "bad" at all. I don't feel awkward like I thought I was going to other than eating lunch. I wasn't a big sandwhich person to begin with, now I KNOW I won't be a big sandwhich person at all. That was pretty comical to me, now, my lunch date on the other hand may not have found it as funny but I sure did. By the end of lunch I had peeled the chicken/bacon/tomato/cheese off the bread and was eating it with a knife and fork! Even though that felt 'weird' I know i'll get used to it. I had an epiphany driving back to work from lunch. My hands are safe now. I'm a habitual nail biter, that has been the one vice I haven't been able to break since I was a kid. It's a very NASTY and UNATTRACTIVE habit, I know..but now with the new blingage it makes it harder for me to devour my hands.. +1 for the braces! I heard the funniest comment from my friend Carla this morning. I'm bracing myself for the smart ass remarks from my "friends"..I already know some of them will never get a comment approved on my page/blog ever again! but when I sent her the pic she goes "Girl you should have come to H-town to get your grill work!! You know Paul Wall got his joint over at Sharpston Mall" I thought that was HIGHLARIOUS..especially coming from her of all people! What she know bout Paul Wall?? I'm sure ya'll are going and what do YOU know bout Paul Wall?? I guess I have something else in my life to blog about now..like I need more material for my so called life! At any rate, here I am, all in my blinging glory!

Come on, get it together already!

I own and operate a small business. I don't think that is a surprise to anyone who has ever had a conversation with me, somehow "so what do you do" always comes up in conversation. It's really no secret and I don't attempt to make it one. It's also no secret how I operate my business, nor is my work ethics kept a secret. They reflect the goals and mission of my organization, as well as my business training and my Christian principles. I meet with different levels of clientele fairly regularly because I've done something for so and so, who has told so and so about me and now here they are calling me and "wanting a grant"..If I haven't heard that phrase a thousand times I haven't heard it AT.ALL. I'm a little peeved at myself I guess for this current situation that I unknowingly I suppose put myself into. I don't take on many new clients throughout the year because I don't want to, I don't have to and I just don't have the time a lot of them demand of me. That's real. Catalyst can operate anywhere from 3-6months out the year and I'd be ok with that. I'd be ok with it operating 0 months as well. I'm a mild perfectionist when it comes down to my work. Overly anal at times but there is always a method to my madness. A means to my end and I 'try' to make sure I'm not circumventing the processes and take a straight line to where I'm going but I'll be dog on if I don't get the same in return by those that I've been serving as of late.

I use the word serving because I feel like this is a gift I have and that I'm giving back by using this gift and not hording it. I always say information is free but the moment I have to "do" something, that's when I charge a fee. I never charge for an initial consultation, most times I won't even take a free cup of coffee at that point because I'm laying the foundation that I don't need you as a client to do anything for me. I don't want a client thinking that they can buy me, yes, even if it is just a white chocolate mocha or a vanilla latte, there are some that think that will "impress" me ..there are those that want to shower me with compliments, "oh you're so young to be this successful" "oh you are just so well spoken(da hell??? that aint no compliment) "oh you really know your stuff"(well, yea, do you think I would give you my real name and not give you correct information..hello!) I'm venting.

My people, my people, my BLACK people, we, yes, I'm claiming black today, have to get it together already. My servitude should not be taken advantage of! I'm no fool and I have enough discernment to know a sheep from a wolf. My vent tonight has to do with billing. My business does pretty well and helps me maintain and live my lifestyle. I would still function in my same lifestyle without operating the business but that's not the real point. I am by no means a rich/wealthy person (but you can't tell my 7yr old neice that, afterall I did buy 2 Nintendo DS systems for Christmas..) but I'm also not a poor person and I don't live check to check. I'm comfortable financially. That however doesn't give someone the right to try and play me! No you can not pay me in installments. No I will not "hook you up" I operate a business just like you're trying to get one off the ground and operating. Do you really not expect me to charge you for my services? Like seriously??? No, I will not give you the grant proposal that I've taken time to research and write UNTIL I am paid. In what world would you get something in return for nothing. No exceptions and No I will not take your personal check. I will take a check in your companies name, most business checking you have to keep a certain amount of money in the account. No, I will not be on your board of directors, nor will I work your program. Hello?? I have a business, why in the world would I want to go and work FOR you. I don't want to be this harsh, nor do I enjoy being this harsh when dealing with my "people", but the track record has proven that it is my people(some of them, not all are this way) who want preferrential treatment amongst other ignorant things. I've NEVER been a fan of affirmative action so I sure in hell am not about to operate it (by default) in my own business. I know this behavior is not indicative nor does it reflect on all black folks, I'm smart enough to not blanket us like that but, man, come on, get it together already and do better! If you want to be taken serious in the business world you're gonna have to do better.

Maybe my reading people skills are really off but I don't think they are. I'm a pretty good judge of character and can tell when someone is about their business or they're PLAYING like they want to be about their business. It is those that I don't have the time for and don't make the time for.

**Brown..stepping off the soapbox..out**

Weekend wrap up (posted April 21st)

Back to back FANTABULOUS weekends!!! and I realized I could have an enjoyable weekend here in the Red Stick, I just have to chose the right people to hang out with and do activities with. As well as chose activities that STIMULATE my brain...so..let's see if I can do a cliff note version of my weekend.

Friday, I didn't make my flight to Houston, had a relatively light workout, strictly cardio and I was feeling it b/c I was pushing myself to run farther than I had all week. I was pressed for time which was really my driving factor to up the speed on the treadmill and really feel the burn in my chest. I did about 30min on there, 20 of them actually running the other 10 trying not to die. At some point I took a 5 min walking interval and then I did a 5 min cool down walk. Took a quick shower, got all dolled up and went with a friend of mine to dinner at la Bone Fish Grille. That was a very interesting dinner. Good company, good food, good glass of wine, what more could a girl ask for right? I say it was interesting because this is a new(er) friend and I just didn't know what to expect. We have talked and "know" each other but never really hung out or anything but we had a good time.

Sat. I thought I was going to sleep in and have an UBER lazy day but I was up at 8am and out the door by 10 I think..off to explore LSU and Downtown BR on the beautiful day we had. So Courtney and I loaded up our bikes and had a great time!

Here's a pic of campus in the distance from on top of the MS levee..

One of the greatest and most corrupt Governors the state of La has had. Huey P. Long

La. State Capital..

Me bonding with nature..SAVE THE TREES!

Some stuff I'm probably allergic too..and I KNOW CSleezy or should I say CSneezy was..she was sneezing her poor lil head off and wiping her nasty snot on her shirt!!! she's gross isn't she!

all in all it was a really good day and I was pooped! I tried to do school work while I was being one with my couch but that just wasn't happening. Heck, NO school work actually happened all week. I don't remember what else I did Sat..ohhhh ha ha let's rewind to after the ride and I pull up into my driveway and realize that I don't have a house key and I'm locked out.. Courtney and I went our separate ways after the ride and I didn't think to bring my house key with me before we left since she has a key to my house..well, once my lightbulb goes off that I'm locked out I go walking about my house checking windows b/c I knew the kitchen window was unlocked but could you see the comedy of me hoisting myself up into my kitchen window.. and to my surprise there were more windows unlocked than there should've been **embarassed** Long story short, I broke into my house successfully all the while my dog was looking at me like what in the world are you doing!

Sunday, was a chill sabbath day...had lunch with some good girlfriends and had the most interesting conversation about dating and marriage or lack thereof with us as single successful women, that's a blog for another day...(Kentrell you're lucky I didn't have a pic of your phone on this computer when I wrote this..lol ) <---I'm not the only one having technical difficulties with their cellular device..

EDITED TO ADD THIS PIC OF ELLA'S PHONE!! her poor Sidekick is getting its gangsta lean on..you should hear the "sound" when it flips... it was s very chill sunday until I started doing my homework while sitting on the patio. I then realized I have NO clue what in the heck I'm supposed to do with my assignment. It was like it was written in a foreign language. I was that far removed from school work that week. I have like a 98 in the class so I did my *ahem* "best" effort and turned that bad boy in...

That was my weekend folks, how was yours?

Bdizzle..out!

UPDATE ON THE MOVE...

So, we now have identified space on campus for our move to campus and low and behold here is my future working environment.

Now anybody who has ever spent time at LSU knows about the infamous guys dorm Kirby-Smith. I spent the first few weeks of my college life in Kirby Smith b/c my brother lived there and I didn't have friends so I would go hang with him.. I'm trying to not remember KS as it once was in its "glory" days of pissy elevators and staunch smell of boy. I'm trying to remember that Kirby has been closed as a dorm for a few years now and has been somewhat renovated.

Govenor Jindal and his transition team were housed in KS for a period of time before he took office. If it's good enough for the Governor of the State of Louisiana it should be good enough for me huh?

Skeptical Brown..out!

Mind Over Matter...

I have to remind myself that if it doesn't matter in my mind, then it won't matter at all to me. "It" can be anything really...relationships, your job, your work ethic, working out, your character..anything that can be quantified really. I saw that picture today and it really made me think because I woke up this morning thinking that I haven't worked out in 2 days. Well, why not Angie? Because even though I say I'm ready to change, I have't gotten it down in my mind to where it really matters. There's a difference in saying the words and performing the actions.

When I was in HS my band director said the most profound thing, hey I was like 14 it was profound, but it has stuck with me til this day..repetition is the mother of consistency. My HS band was one of the best if not the best in the entire state of TX and it was because of mindsets like that..we did it over and over and over til it was damn near perfect, or as perfect as us little marching robots would get. I didn't really grasp the concept of our rehersals and the methods behind the madness that we had to endure in the TX heat until after I graduated HS and was in the LSU Golden Band from Tigerland..while how we performed on Sat nights mattered there was NEVER the same intensity or drive for perfection because it wasn't really drilled into our minds..at least not mine...

I say all of that to say, that, the things that matter to you the most you will make time for because in your mind, they're important and worth taking action against. I was in such a foul mood yesterday and I had a headache that I probably induced with the help of me wearing my glasses which I'm not used to but my eyes needed to breathe. And it didn't matter that I didn't work out monday I still was NOT going to workout yesterday because well, I didn't want too and I woke up thinking about it. Maybe it does matter to me after all because I was bothered that I was about to fall back into a "routine", so...I'm not beating myself up, just saying, that I'm not fully at the point where exercising matters in my mind, but I'm getting there,..YAY ME! Maybe I can channel the gym rat in me..she was FIERCE!

Brown..out!

I suck at posting over here...

I'm still in the habit of posting on Myspace, but I'm going to start copying some of those blogs over here, and sometimes I'll have moments where I just post over here but I'm about to copy and paste a slew of blogs from there to here.

I had a really relaxing yet productive weekend! My bed is sooooo comfy!! I'm at work and today is one of those "have" to work days so let me get to that.

Brown..out!

Change has started...

So my treadmill works afterall..who knew that it would work when EYE would operate it..ha ha..I'm back in the gym and today I had a really good workout..I didn't try and run a marathon, just a mile and half..did a simple weight routine and called it day. I'm excited about this new found sense of change in my exercise routine, and by change I mean actually doing something instead of nothing. One day down...let's see how many more I'll geaux through.

Brown...out!

Random thoughts...

I absolutely LOVE my nephews, love them to death!! even though they’re both spoiled rotten, not all by me, but I’m sure I’ve had a hand in that. They’re so funny and I know they love me too..(and for the record, the baby was fed the entire weekend, didn’t even use my reminders..)

Trae was >this< close to getting popped in the back of his head for his STANK attitude one day though.

I don’t like all this changing thats going on around me. I don’t have enough time to take it in and adapt with it in a way that I’m comfortable.

"Space" and "time" is a sucky combo.

MY every mood does not revolve around YOU.

I used to be sooooooo in love with you for years and I never told you but you probably knew anyway.

I had a dream about a myspace "friend" and her need for help with homework. Da heezy..lol, talk about random!

is it November yet? I’m tired of the politics and I’ve sworn to not read another blog/article/commentary or anything relating to the pending Presidential election. I’m coming out of political hybernation when the Penn primary hits and that’s it. AND FOLKS, stop asking me who I’m voting for!!! I know some of you are only asking b/c you’re nosey and for those that I did respond to b/c I felt like you genuinely wanted my opinion and take on the candidates, that’s not for you..lol

If you create and breed drama in your life, don’t expect me to be all chummy and want to talk to you on the regular. EYE can’t stand drama, especially drama that can be avoided.

Why don’t people MAN or WOMAN up sometimes. Stop complaining and whining about things and just GEAUX and make some changes in your life. If you (generally speaking for the sensitive folks) know you don’t want to be in your current situation, then CHANGE it. Is it really that complicated to do something DIFFERENT? I’m not saying go out and quit your job(random analogy for the sensitive) w/o having a back up plan, because; a) I don’t want to hear you whining how you no longer have a job; and b) I’m not going to pay any of your bills; and c) I don’t want you blaming me. Seriously, if you feel like your life is just that jacked up, change. SUCKING>>>>>>>>>>CHANGING /rant

People will ask you questions they don’t want to really know your answer to and you have to be prepared for the backlash of your response, even though it was them who really wanted to know the answer.

Could you really not breathe w/o them in your life? Like really, would you just forget to breathe and need to be told how to breathe because there is"no air"

If you look fly, you feel fly.

How come it always looks like clouds only move in one direction. To me I always see them "moving" in this<-------- direction. Where are they going?

Enough of my random ramblings for the moment.
Brown..out!

Yet another blog spot..

Figured I'd give this one a try...after all I am trying to reach all fiftyleven gazillion people that have access to the W.W.W. ha ha its late and past my bedtime. I suppose tomorrow I'll actually come back to this blog and "fix" it. If someone happens to fumble across this before then, stop back when there is "something" worth reading posted. You might find it quite interesting.

Brown..out!