Ramblings of a Curious Mind....

Hiatus

2011-04-13T15:38:00.002-05:00

I'm revamping this blog. Not sure which direction I'm going to go and I was just called out about still having my "Christmas tree" up, that's how long it's been since I've blogged. Geez. I have to figure out how I'm going to keep this blog updated because I've been doing a piss poor job and that's being nice. At any rate, the blog at the moment is only active in url status only, but who knows, today may be the day I get back into the writing zone, but just in case I don't, I'll BRB!

Brown..out!

Heaux, Heaux, Heaux..

2010-12-27T21:34:00.005-06:00

Well Christmas has come and gone. Heck, 2010 is just about come and gone. Can't believe how fast this year has gone by. I'm trying to reminisce about the beginning of the year and I'm drawing a big fat blank! For me this year hasn't had many memorable moments, this is actually quite disturbing that I can't remember the highlights of my 2010. Oh well, Christmas in Houston with the family was a bit apathetic for me but not for my nieces and nephews, check them out!

My Christmas loot was never this good..lol my how the times have changed! Everyone seemed to like and appreciate everything they got even though Rocky "thought" one or two of the ZhuZhu pets were for him :-) I had to keep an eye out for those poor little things because they almost became doggy chew toys ha ha

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Brown...out!

Holy Smokes Batman!

2010-12-14T13:31:00.006-06:00

I've been on a blog hiatus for quite sometime now. I don't have any "real" reasons that wouldn't seem like anything but excuses as to why I basically "retired" my blog. I was catching up on the blogosphere and remembered that I too have a blog that has been neglected beyond belief. but I think it's time to resurrect the dead mind and get back to the rambling mind. I won't make any promises and say that I'll have a post every day because I know that would just be setting myself up for failure. At any rate, I'm hoping to be a little more consistent in the the writing and a little more forth coming with my daily life as well.

I was in Houston quite a bit the month of N0vember and also made visits in early Dec and will most likely be back for Christmas. Here are a couple of pics from Thanksgiving with the family and also some shots from around Downtown H-town and my Christmas tree!

Because my shoulder is still healing from rotator cuff surgery, it took me forever to decorate this year!

My sister and her two boys

My oldest niece Sadori!

My oldest nephew, keeping the tradition of a musician in the family!

My youngest nephew Stan the man

My youngest niece Lauren!

My brother and youngest nephew

The Breakfast Klub

Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon! One of the greatest all time

Train station

Skyline from Allen Parkway

Aight folks, stay tuned for updates!

Brown..out!

In treatment....

2010-05-06T21:39:00.005-05:00

Ah, the weekend is finally here. It's been quite the roller coaster week for me. Mostly highs and a few lows. I'm starting to realize that I've been doing too much 'ostriching' lately with some of my own issues that I just don't feel like dealing with. It's so much easier and convenient to think of them as out of sight out of mind, and I suppose that's all fine and dandy but it's really just a temporary fix and I know it. I often hear other peoples issues because folks think that the "doctor" is indeed in and they come to me hoping that I can provide insight and wisdom and sometimes even a Godly counsel to their current trial and/or tribulation and I'm often amazed at how insightful and wise my counsel tends to be for them, but man, when it comes to counseling myself, I pretty much suck. I "know" all the right things to say, and I can tell myself all the "right" things to do, but when it comes time for execution, I give myself the FAIL! Knowing that I'm my hardest/worst critic, it's easy for me to turn a small "failure" of sorts into something way bigger than it has to be. It's also (too) easy for me to down play the big things that I feel like are failures and to carry on as though I'm "fine". I've said it before but sometimes I feel like I'm about to come undone at the hinges.

I give myself credit for recognizing my own symptoms and realizing that I have my own issues to deal with and allowing others peoples "issues" to affect me can't be part of my 'treatment' plan. I have to really decide who the givers and who the takers are that I encounter. I honestly feel like a shark who allows those little fish to eat off the fungus of my skin to keep me clean, but not realizing what they're doing is also causing me to get infected thus, them 'helping' me is also killing me. That analogy made a lot of sense in my head, not sure how it's coming off on paper, but, being a giver is TIRESOME especially when the level of return is not of equal value. It's truly a blessing and a curse.

Being in treatment, opens up a lot of cans of worms that aren't enjoyable to stare in the face. I'm not sure what the ultimate outcome will be guess we all will just have to wait and see what happens..

Brown..out!

Bling free day!

2010-05-05T09:30:00.004-05:00

Before...

After...

Yay me! I go back next week to get my permanent retainers put in and after that I believe my orthodontia stint is all done. I did find myself being a glutton for all things, chewy, gooey, and crunchy yesterday, just because I couldn't have that kind of stuff for so long. What's funny is that sooo many people were saying go eat corn on the cob, didn't realize so many folks liked it, too bad I don't. LOL..There may be more video type blogs in the future because they're so much easier to do than to sit and type stuff out. How lazy am I! No comments from the peanut gallery..

Brown..out!

One bad apple..

2010-04-13T09:13:00.005-05:00

Really can spoil it for the WHOLE bunch. I swear folks take my kindness for weakness or maybe my kindness has become a weakness, but I recently found out I was blatantly LIED to and burned by someone I call(ed) a friend. The review is still out on whether or not they'll still be called a friend, but I know I won't be a sucker! I'm really surprised at their actions and I kinda want to put em on blast but I'm not the e-beefing type but I had to get some of this anger out of my head. I talked to them and they gave me this sob story and they apologized (not sure it was an apology because they got caught or an apology for their actions) and said "I'll make it up to you" No, don't make it up to me, make it up to yourself. Folks, your word in most cases is the most valuable asset you can have. If you can't stand behind your word and follow through on what you said, then that means I really can't trust you. And if I can't trust you, I have no reason for you to be in my life. Period. Yea, they say actions speak louder than words, but words are what put actions into motion.

I'm fed up with so many people these days. It's almost as if it's time for me to start over. I always look to myself first to see if it is something that I am doing before I cast blame on others, but it is honestly not anything I'm doing to cause all these "issues".

I'm trying to not let this one bad apple spoil my niceness for anyone else who comes along, but man, it's hard to not say to hell with all of you and your problems, figure it out on your own. Don't come to me for diddly-squat! and someone had the nerve to call me selfish..Angie is a lot of things, but SELFISH is definitely NOT one of them..miss me with that BS!

Brown..out!

Oh hiking we shall geaux..

2010-04-10T20:34:00.011-05:00

Today Rockstar and I headed up to Tunica Hills and became one with nature. The Tunica Hills are about 45 minutes driving from Baton Rouge and it's a place that has hiking, scenic views and several waterfalls. The hills can be quite steep in certain areas and will wear you out by the end of a day. I didn't hike the entire trail but I did knock out a chunk of it. Armed with a camera, water, food and my doggy, I set out and had a great time! To my surprise, my allergies weren't even a major issue while out there but man, as I'm sitting here writing this here entry I'm all kinda congested waiting on the meds to let me breathe freely again.

He walked off leash most of the day and by this point I think he was ready for me to pick him up and carry him back to the car

This was the end result of our day of hiking. He was exhausted and so was I!

I had a good time today, even though I was by myself. As of late that has been a semi-issue for me, one friend told me I was the most independent person she knows, well, that's just who I am. Life will go on with or with out me, so I chose to be apart of life and do things, even if I do end up doing them by myself (or with Rocky). This pic didn't come out well but I thought it looked cool anyway..

Brown..out!

Moments like this..

2010-04-04T01:10:00.012-05:00

make me really miss not living in the same city and state as my nieces and nephews. Although I've had "aunie" called 50-11 thousand times since I've been in town. They're all growing up way too fast! And I actually feel a lil bit sorry for Rocky when all 4 of them are together, he doesn't get a break from the attention, that surprisingly he doesn't always want.

I was the only one who didn't get the be silly memo!

I still got it!Trae (my sister's oldest son)
Dori (my brothers oldest daughter)
Lauren (my brother's youngest daughter)

Stan the man who wanted to take a picture of me instead of me taking his (didn't realize he had all the candy residual still on his face ha ha)

These 2 actually had a moment where they were getting along.

This is my serious face!

Take 2!

It's been great spending some QT with the kids and they don't mind me with all the picture taking, as long as they get to take a few shots with the camera as well and with that I found this lovely gem when I uploaded some pics...ha ha they're funny!
Brown..out!

Trespassing..

2010-03-30T15:10:00.006-05:00

Now Rocky has long been given walking papers when it comes to being in my bed, so to my surprise when I came out of the shower, look who has made himself mighty comfy all in my bed..

Maybe she won't see me if I bury myself..

but it's so comfy here

if I turn my head she'll leave

can't you see I'm trying to rest

This last shot I told him to get down, so he gets from under the covers and just gets on top of them. He's going to find himself outside with no tags on if he keeps this up..

Brown..out!

Under the oaks..

2010-03-29T16:29:00.006-05:00

Pics around LSU

Some friendly competition

2010-03-29T16:00:00.006-05:00

Not one to miss a reason to go to a LSU football game, Sat. I whipped out my LSU football jersey and headed to campus for the annual LSU Spring Football game, last year I was just as excited about the Spring game as I was last year! Even though I didn't get to bring my nephews as I usually do, I was still able to enjoy the day with friends. After having a mediocre season for LSUs standards, most of us fans were highly anticipating the spring game so that we can have a looksie at what we hope to be a much better offensive scheme and an improved defense as well. Basically, we want to be BETTER and more consistent than last year. After baking in the sun, man, it was HOT, I must say that our QB play is still shaky but our corp of running backs will be a handful which is GREAT!! Our receiving corp and our secondary looked pretty good too! I know it's hard to think that how can the receivers and the secondary both look good when it was the secondary's job to not let the receivers look good ha ha. Well, that's the beauty of the Spring game.
While I was on campus I took a few shots of the campus and I had forgotten how beautiful it is under the oaks at LSU. I don't have a favorite shot but here are a few pics. Oh yea, LSU White won 24-9 fitting since LSU plays 95% of their games in white jerseys!!

More pics to come..

Brown..out!

Broke til payday

2010-03-29T09:20:00.003-05:00

Last week I got to observe the inner workings of a pay day loan establishment. Let's just say I was doing "research". Well, I spent a good 2 hours in this particular establishment observing and man, people are hooked on those things like crack! Folks from all walks of life were strolling in to a)pay on their loan; b)pay off their loan; c) pay off their loan and reapply; d) get a new loan. I couldn't believe the volume of customers that this particular business had going for themselves. Who knew that 400% interest would appeal to that many folks! I was particularly amazed at the number of people who come in, pay their $345 (maximum loan amount is $300 + $45 finance charge) and then IMMEDIATELY re-new their loan, basically get the same money they just handed over returned to them, only to repeat this cycle on their next pay day.

I've been fortunate enough to not have to rely on the use of a payday loan to get me through any rough patches but it just seemed like this was the lifestyle for the majority of the folks coming through the doors of this fine establishment. I wonder if any of those people know that getting caught up in pay day loans is dangerous, because often times folks don't have the money to pay them back when the time comes. I also wonder if any of the folks actually care that they're being charged 400% interest for this loan so that they aren't "broke til payday" anymore. Somehow I doubt that as well. I wanted to tell those people to not get the loans and that there were other ways to save money but that surely wasn't my position to do, especially since I was there as a visitor of an employee. Either way, I appreciate where I am in life and that in the event that I'm broke til payday, I know that if I had to, there are people in my life who wouldn't charge me 400% interest to get me through my rough patch.

Brown..out!

10 years ago today...

2010-03-23T09:55:00.004-05:00

I joined a sorority.

Yep. I was a sorority girl.

I'm no longer a sorority girl.

Historically Black sororities and fraternities (HBSF) don't have the same longevity mentality that the predominately white ones have. The HBSF believe that once you're in, you're in it for LIFE, complete with wedding songs and debutantes for the kids! It's like the mafia. Ok, not really, that comparison topic is for a whole other blog post.

So while I say I'm no longer in a sorority, because back in 2004 I wrote a nice please remove my name from your roster and mailed along with it the secret manual and history book, today I've still gotten a phone call and a facebook message from 2 of my 3 then "line sisters" wishing me a happy "Sigmaversary". Perplexed but not surprised that even though I'm not technically a part of the organization anymore, I'm still apart of the organization. While I did renounce my affiliation with the sorority, I was and am still friends with some of the women I met while I was involved and they know why I did what I did and for the most part they understand.

10 years ago I was in a much different place in my life mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was poor, overweight because I drank a whole whole lot, dined on the great cafeteria food, involved in a relationship that surprisingly dictated a good 4-5yrs of my dating habits once the relationship was over and didn't want anything to with God..

10 years ago I was an undergraduate student afraid of the unknown that I was about to embark on as I was about to graduate. I was floundering and really wanted to just stay in school and not have to be responsible.

10 years ago I was doing things not because I necessarily wanted to do them, but because I was immature and doing them anyway.

Looking back on those10yrs from 2000 to now makes me wonder what my next 10 years are going to be like, but in reality I'm looking forward to the next 10 min when this post will be done and I can go and get something to eat!!! Keeping it light folks. :-)

Brown..out

Whew!!

2010-03-21T15:34:00.004-05:00

I have been out of the blogsphere for MONTHS now. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to come back but like Tiger Woods to white women who aren't his wife, I just can't stay away ha ha. There's been a lot of "stuff" that has happened since my last post and this one and I won't even try to recap all that "stuff". 2010 has been interesting thus far. Low point in the almost 4 months of the year has been losing a childhood friend. Jennifer Moore died in late February. That one was quite the shocker to me, I mean, no one is really expecting someone to die, but just the fact that I grew up with her and had played sports with her since Middle School and she as a good friend back in our heyday. At any rate, I don't really want to rehash the emotions of dealing with that but being at her services made me feel like I was back in my HS locker room. Was good to see the friends and coaches, but definitely sucked that it was under the circumstances that we were there.

I have a new hobby kinda sorta. Got a fancy camera for Christmas and I'm kinda sorta learning all the settings and what not but photography is kinda cool when the shot comes out right ha ha. The camera does a lot of the work for me most times for now.It's almost Easter and if I'm in Houston I know I'll have some Easter photos of the kids that I'll be able to post. Maybe I'll use them to do a mini-photo shoot of sorts that would be kinda cool. Well I'm going to take my sprained knee and move it from this stool and onto the couch and take a nap, but I am back to being a "blogger". I realized that when I have too much free time, which I've had a lot of the last week since I haven't been able to go to the gym, my mind is all over the place and needs an outlet. Alright folks, thanks for stopping by and/or welcome back for those who have been waiting on ME ha ha

Brown..out!

What a difference a decade makes! (this blog never got published for some reason way back when)

2010-01-04T10:49:00.004-06:00

Happy New Year blog world! I saw the question posed at what point do you stop saying Happy New Year, well, I figure the first week it should be said because most folks are getting back to face to face interaction with others who they haven't seen whilst on vacation. At any rate, I'm digressing (already! ha ha) Man, 2010 is upon us, another year, I was thinking about the things of the past decade that stood out to me and here is an abridged list of sorts:

9/11 most definitely tops my list as the most unforgettable moment of the decade..

losing a niece and gaining a new nephew

lots of increase: spiritually, emotionally, financially.

bought and sold my 1st house, upgraded to my current "adult" house

President Obama

Rocky!!! I got him in 2003, it seems like he's been around forever

Hurricane Katrina

2 LSU football National Championships

Graduating from college a lot of times..

Getting my heart broken which aided to me being clinically depressed and suicidal and a borderline alcoholic/drug addict definitely had an impact on me this decade. I look in the mirror and can't believe I was "that" person. I now know my worth and have a greater sense of my purpose.

Economy basically crashing

Darfar situation

and I'm sure there are many many more events that can get to this list, welcome to 2010 folks, hope you're as optimistic about what this New Year has in store as I am.

Brown..out!

Breaking the Silence

2009-12-14T10:42:00.005-06:00

I'm coming out of hiatus today and breaking the blog silence because I'm in a somber mood of sorts, so I figure if I get the thoughts out of my head, I may feel better but some how I don't think that will exactly do the trick but its worth a shot. A year ago today a dear friend of mine died while doing something she loved to do. Just as I was thankful this time last year for the time I got to spend knowing her and being her friend I'm still thankful on this day. I woke up Sunday and was thinking about her because it was the day of the Marathon that she died running in. As I was driving to church I was fighting back the tears just as I've been fighting them back at work most of the day. I don't want to cry or be sad because she's gone, I want remember the good times we shared, the laughs, the jokes, the good memories that I'll always have of her. It's hard to not think about what her husband and family must be going through during this time of year. It's supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" yet, I know they probably have knots in their stomachs and tears in their eyes thinking about what might have been.

I have a birthday coming up and I've never been one to really get all excited and make a big deal out of my birthday (except when I turned 21 (for obvious reasons back then) and turning 25(insurance dropped!)) but thinking of how quickly Erin's life was taken and how young she was makes me appreciative to be able to see another year come and go. On this day I am reminded that the faithful love of the Lord never ends, His mercies never cease; Great is His faithfulness; his mercies begin fresh every morning. I'll never understand her death and it's not for me to understand, as I said a year ago, God is God and He's still in control.

I pray today that her husband Jeff and her parents/brother and all of us who were her friends are comforted by the Holy Spirit as we remember her wonderful life.

Thinking of you and missing you Erin Kriewlow Lahr (11/10/79-12/14/08)

Brown..out!

Happy Birthday DB!!!

2009-11-03T13:13:00.002-06:00

Today is my FAVORITE brother's birthday!! Ok, he's also my only brother, but he's still my favorite brother! Happy Birthday Delton!! I've often been in his shadow even to the point of being called "Lil DB" during our days at LSU and to this day some of those guys still call me that! I couldn't wish for a more caring, thoughtful, friendly, cool, *cough overprotective *cough big brother. He takes his role as my big brother serious and often reminds me that he's the big brother and I should just listen to him on those credentials alone. He and I are very similar in our diverseness, our love of music, our thinking and of course LSU Football! Who else would I spend the game "watching" via text messages back and forth to each other about how LSU is playing that day or how whack Iowa is for blowing a huge lead. I can pick up the phone and call my brother and talk to him about anything from politics to religion to "dog can't get me" to name that classical tune. I love my brother and on this day I wish him the very very best!!!

Brown..out!

Ya know

2009-10-27T16:40:00.003-05:00

Blogging isn't a whole lot of fun when you spend your days/nights doing all other sorts of writing. I feel like I've been pouring out all of my "creative" juices into other forms and my poor little blog has been like the Sahara, dry than a mug! I have a few blogs that I started and they ended up left to die in draft form because I wasn't happy with how they "sounded" or how they "read' to me. Maybe I should just stop censoring myself and just let it flow however it comes out, it comes out. I'm still here and this blog is still alive, just haven't had much content and depth to it as of late. I'm sure the material will pick up in the next few weeks as I prepare for Thanksgiving with the family at my house again this year. Don't know if I'm ready for that invasion just yet. My mom already sent me an email of what she feels the menu should be. I think my head is hurting already thinking about it.

Yes, should be quite interesting.

In the meantime, keep checking for updates, I promise there will be posts forthcoming.

Brown..out!

Weekend wrap up

2009-10-05T11:12:00.007-05:00

Friday, I celebrated my friend Nicole's daughters birthday at the bowling alley. I don't remember bowling too much tho ha ha. It was for the kids, birthday girl with the bowling ball and one of her friends. A good time was had by all!Sat. I spent the afternoon watching LSU vs Georgia with friends. Good crabs, shrimp, potatoes and corn!! Gotta tailgate La style. I hate LSU. Why oh why must they treat me so bad. I don't know why I continue to be in this abusive relationship. I see now why it's so hard for battered women to leave the man that they "love" even with his proclivity to lay hands on her (and not in the spiritual way), to say hurtful and harmful things, to just be BAD for her period, but she can't walk away. Yes, this analogy is probably not thee best to use, but I divorce or threaten to divorce LSU football every single season, but I never do. I can't leave them despite the emotional turmoil that they put me through year, after year, after year, but what I can do is hate them (today) for making watching the games soooooo stressful! This reads like we didn't win on Saturday against UGA, but we did 20-13, but it was the way we won, last 1:09 of the game we get 6 first downs after having just gone 3 and out. During those 6 first downs we eat up the clock and with about 0:32 left, Charles Scott breaks some tackles and its TOUCHDOWN LSU!!! and all is right with my universe again..I hate them and I'm sure my friends that I watched the game with hate me ha ha.
Sunday, I went to church where we were having a "Unity" service that brought together all 3 of the campuses, which meant LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of people in the service and hectic parking. I swear even after sitting inside the church for like 30 min after the service talking, it still took me another 45min just to get out of the parking lot. I'm glad I drove my truck instead of the car because I was doing some semi-off roading. Speaking of the truck, I put some new "shoes" on him just for kicks. Truck rides the same but definitely has a different look to it. I didn't want anything too big or too flashy/hood cause that's just not my style, but these definitely compliment the vehicle. After fighting traffic, I stopped by my friends the Dabney's to help them unpack their new house and also see their newborn boy. Service at its best I tell you. I hope that if there is ever a day that I'll need the help of my friends I'll be able to get it. I do a lot of things for my close friends because it is the right thing to do and because I live by the mantra of do unto others as you would have them do unto me. So "if" I'm fresh out the hospital and can't lift anything but I also just moved, I pray that my friends will show up at my house, fix me a meal and unpack some boxes and get me settled into my new place. After spending time with them I made my way to 2222H, took a nap in the rain and just had a really chill Sun. night.

I'm not all too thrilled with how things are going with my personal life. I was never a fan of the cliche' when one door closes another one opens, but that may be the cause with how things are turning out. I don't really get into my relationships via blogland, but just know that a fresh start may be just what the doctor ordered.

Brown..out!

Happy Birthday Ketra!!

2009-10-05T10:47:00.003-05:00

To my sister,

Today is your birthday and I want to wish you a very happy birthday. You are here for a purpose as God formed you in the womb before He knew you, before you were born you were set apart appointed as a prophet to the nations. I pray that you continue to seek God's guidance and His divine will for you life, that He shows you your purpose and continues to have His hand upon you. Have a great great great birthday!!!

Enjoy turning 25 *wink*

Brown..out

Happy Birthday CBean!!

2009-10-01T09:19:00.003-05:00

Want to send a special birthday shout out to my sisterfriend Carla!!!! I hope you're day is great and I pray that God continues to show you favor in your life. I pray that you are the head and not the tail, above and not beneath, blessed coming in and blessed going out! I know you've been a blessing to me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Brown...out!

Spring weather is here (for the moment)

2009-09-30T16:34:00.004-05:00

How awesome is this weather!!! It's been taxing sitting in my office today making an effort to not find a plausible reason for me to be outside or "work from home"..it's definitely one of those too nice to work inside days. If you can, go outside and enjoy the weather!! How's the weather by you?

Brown..out!

Game day!! LSU vs Ms State

2009-09-26T11:42:00.003-05:00

GEAUX TIGERS!!! BEAT Ms. State!!

Got my game day gear on, grill going for this early game, wishing for LESS cowbell from the State crowd! I'm saying 29-17 Tigers!!!

Brown..out!!

Oh Happy Day!!

2009-09-25T11:03:00.002-05:00

It's friday good people!! whoo hoo!!! This has been a fast but full week for me and I'm soooo looking forward to a weekend where I'm not on the road. In the last 2 weeks I've been in Houston, Dallas, Independence, La, Lafayette, Houston again, New Orleans, and my sister is trying to get me back in Houston next week for her birthday! I feel like I'm back in undergrad again where I was going to Houston like every every week or something crazy. I'm not a young whippersnapper and don't bounce back as quickly as I used to from those random mid-week road trips. When I left Houston last weekend I told them I wasn't coming back til like Christmas or something, even tho my niece will have a birthday and my nephew will have a birthday prior to Christmas so I probably would have been back in October and November ha ha. My calendar is filling up quick with meeting next week. I swear I spend 80% of my work life in a meeting. The worst are the friday back to back to back meeting that happen every other friday of the month. I don't know whose bright idea it was to hold all those meetings on fridays, but at least they're all back to back to back and I can almost stay in the same conference room ha ha. I'm not being very productive yet on this friday. I don't know why not, I have 50-11 thousand things I should be doing. I'm hoping the afternoon brings more success.

I'm already loving the shake ups in the college football ranks and its only week 4! I can't stand the BCS because it is very flawed and each season the BS of the system gets exposed. I was soooo glad to see Ole Piss lose to South Carolina last night! #4!! really Ole Piss, they hadn't played one SEC game, didn't finish the season very well last season and got a #4 ranking, yet can't get past S.C. HA!! Of course I know all too well that college football and the SEC in general that on any given Thursday or Saturday, anybody can beat anybody! I just have a chip on my shoulder about Ole Piss because I bought tix to the LSU/Ole Piss game in Oxford and Ole Piss rescinded on the tickets so now I'm left trying to find tickets to the game. I also GREATLY enjoyed USC losing to Washington last weekend. I can't STAND USC...highly overated, much like tOSU Buckeyes who can't win a big game to save their lives! 0-4 in the big game to be exact. I don't always see through purple/gold glasses, I know that Florida and Tebow is the truth! and I want to hate on him, but I can't. Kid has great character as a man and is a beast on the field. I just hope that when he comes to Tigerstadium we roll over him. It's not personal, its LSU football! We're about to get into SEC play where we'll really see what this years team is made of. I just hope our offense can get into a steady flow for a full game and not be as sporadic as we've been and I hope I don't hear much cowbell tomorrow against Moo State U.

GEAUX TIGERS!!! beat MS State!

Brown...out!

Decisions, Decisions..

2009-09-24T16:29:00.003-05:00

I am torn.

My yard needs some SERIOUS attention before the HOA comes knocking at my door.

OR

Grey's Anatomy.

I'm leaning towards the yard, that way I can fast forward through the commercials if I want Grey's from the DVR..hmmm..

Brown..out!

I am not my job.

2009-09-24T14:37:00.004-05:00

I was waiting on my car to finish getting detailed during lunch today and was thinking about the friends I have and how I haven't made any "new" friends since like 2003 or something. Wait, I lied, I have 1 new real friend that is in my inner circle these days that I met in 2006/2007 I wonder if we get to a certain age and we just stop making friends. I have made new acquaintances, but not too many people that I call friend, friend. I come across lots of people in lots of different settings and it's not hard for me to have conversations with people. It's easy for me to discern who is interesting and who is faking the funk. People will go all out in some of the social settings to make themselves seem more than what they are. They'll immediately get to talking about 1) their career and/or 2) their educational background. Next time you meet someone new pay attention to the conversation, if they say something in the first oh, 30 seconds about their job and what they do, they most likely have nothing else going for them and like to define themselves and their worth by what they do. It's easy to introduce yourself and immediately say "I'm Angie and I run a consulting business" it just flows. Maybe because we spend so much time engulfed in our careers that we forget that we are not our jobs. I get caught up in that sometimes myself but I am way more than a business consultant, a grant writer, a director of blah blah blah.

My mom loves to introduce me to her friends and she dubiously ALWAYS seems to include my career, in her case I think she's just proud of me and is "showing" me off a lil bit. She knows I don't like to make a big deal about "me" in general so she takes it upon herself to do it for me in some settings. I've told her before about it, but that seems to be a never ending exercise in futility. She knows I have other beaming qualities but the "success" factor is her favorite light to shine. I'm sure if I were a fryer at Popeyes she wouldn't be so quick to announce it to the world. It's all kinda comical to me now.

Embrace it folks, you are not your job and neither am I.

Brown..out!

I'm not feeling it..

2009-09-24T09:39:00.003-05:00

These braces today man. I'm ready to rip them out of my mouth myself. I've already called in this morning for an "emergency" appointment because some wire is trying to stick its way through my cheek. Talk about irritating and painful. No amount of wax is working. Jesus keep me near the cross. 3 more months. Let the count down officially begin.

**UPDATED** Talk about relief!! It took like 5 min for the technician to snip snip the wire and get me back in business. Folks alredy say I don't eat as it is, and with that wire attacking my jaw, it was almost impossible to do so! YaY Dr. Sherman for having on-call folks who take "emergency" appointments.

Brown..out!

True Life: I'm addicted to google

2009-09-23T20:41:00.010-05:00

I can't help it. I can't stop it. I can only hope to contain it.

Seriously, I google no less than *mumble mumble* times a day! It's just so darn convenient. Let's see what I have googled today:

Google, yes, I googled goole. How do you think I got ----------->
Lincoln Aviator wheels
265/35/22
5 to 6 lug wheel adapter
when is daylight savings time
epidemiology
risk assessment
spa and baton rouge
Australia and weather
ski boots
breast cancer and mammogram and louisiana
breast cancer and transportation barriers
united nations and members

That's all. I think. I don't know what I did before google. I'm surely not about to "bing" nor will I "yahoo" to get my searches. I'm a one search engine gal and google has my heart. Monogamy has its perks as google has yet to let me down. Somedays I even "feel lucky" just to spice things up and keep it fresh. I just wonder how long I can keep this relationship hot and steady without getting bored with the Mr. I have a short attention span when I'm not being stimulated. I would hate to have to find another search engine to push my throttle.

Brown..out!

Toot toot!!

2009-09-22T09:54:00.004-05:00

The last few months/weeks have been crazy at work, but I'm starting to see the fruit of my labor. Back in May I labored and labored on writing 2 MASSIVE HIV/AIDS grants for 3 of the hospitals, well, 2 combined efforts because they're close in proximity and then the other is on the opposite end of I-10, anyway, found out last week that they were both funded!!! WHOOP!! WHOOP!!! I'm so excited for the clinics who will be receiving the money. Both were funded at the maximum amount of $1.75M over 5 years. And to think, one of them almost didn't get submitted to the Feds due to some bureaucratic red tape, oh how that would have been a colossal waste of my time to get all that research done, stats researched, pages upon pages written and it all be for naught. I think the people of those regions who are being treated in the Early Intervention Clinics will now have more access to HIV/AIDs care, education and meds. I still find the HIV stats for La and BR to be SCARY and SAD. I can't fathom having unprotected sex in this day and age. The numbers don't lie. I didn't get a real chance to catch my breath once I was done with those 2 grants because I was already knee deep in literature reviews about blood pressure monitoring for another grant.

Just that quick I had to switch gears and "learn" about hypertension and blood pressure. I'm not a clinician nor did I stay at a Holiday Inn at all during that time so I felt like I was back in graduate school with all the reading I was doing and on top of it I was still kinda in HIV/AIDs info mode. Well I can now tell you about the white coat affect, the % of patient population in the state that has Stage 1, Stage 2, Pre-Hypertension and Hypertension. I can tell you what is a good "reading" and at what intervals hypertensive patients should take their pressure. Yea, stuff that has NOTHING to do with my immediate background, but that's part of the luxury with being a grant writer. I'm often thrown into areas that are not my expertise at all but I know people in different fields who I can lean on for resources and what not. And people wonder why I know about "random" things, well, it comes with the job, plus, I'm a closet nerd. I'm still waiting to hear back on whether or not that particular grant was funded, keeping my fingers crossed and guess what NOW I'm on to researching breast cancer information for a grant that is due next month.

I'm hoping to be 4 for 4 when it's all said and done by the end of the year. I got a late start on the grant writing this year because of all of the outside "stuff" that was going on with the organization, but I seem to be on a roll now. Just wanted to take a moment and toot my own horn a lil bit.

Geaux ME!!! Geaux ME!!! Geaux ME!! ha ha

Brown....out!

I'm still here...

2009-09-21T19:33:00.005-05:00

For a while there I was contemplating moving this here lil blog because there were a few posts here that I did not properly quote to give credit to the original author and the original author asked me to remove those posts which I did per the request yet I was catching hell in my inbox about it and I thought starting over would be the right thing to do, but I'm not the run away kinda chick. I apologized to the person(s) at hand and I'm over it. I'm mad at myself for even going on that little hiatus and not having the blog open for a day or so and considering changing the blog name. Momentary lapse of confidence in WHO I AM.

I know my character because I've met ME. For anyone who stumbles to this here corner of blogger to "see" what's going on and to see what the hoopla is all about well, there is no hoopla other than what is or was being created in cyberspace. I'm very comfortable in my own skin. Comfortable in MY life. Comfortable with MY issues. Comfortable with MY relationships Comfortable with my word.

So, I'm still here.

Brown(C1)..out!

Security..

2009-08-11T15:04:00.003-05:00

That's kinda how I feel at the moment. The rollercoaster of my organizations restructure/reorganization just got a little smoother. Monday was notification day of what positions will be abolished and thankfully I wasn't in that category. Whew! I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief after months of having to think about whether or not I'd be affected by the layoff. Although our location hasn't been set in stone for the moment we're still going to be located in BR which leads me to breath yet another sigh of relief! I'm not opposed to commuting but it surely wouldn't be my first choice. I hope with this being "over" for the moment I can get back to my "normal" self. For those who knew what I was going through here at the job thanks for the prayers and being understanding when I was snapping at you, it wasn't "personal" it was stress! ha ha

At the end of the day, I know where my source comes from and I do indeed thank God for covering me. I'm obviously still here for a reason!

Brown..out!

Vacations, Healthcare, Gates Gate and a bunch of other "stuff"

2009-08-04T09:41:00.015-05:00

Blogging is like a relationship man and admittedly so, I've always had issues with committment and it is showing in my blog relationship. Some months I'm hot and steamy full of opinions, thoughts, satire, jokes, life and then other months I get ghost! I'm tempted to call myself flakey, hey fools, ya'll better not co-sign on that! At any rate, life has been pretty full these days.

1) LIFE: July was actually pretty relaxing had 2 vacations, both very enjoyable and relaxing. First was a sisters +1 trip to Miami and the Keys.

Sister/Sister in Law/Me!

Plus 1 (my sister's friend Jackie)

Did a few water activities..
Enjoyed the night life

Had a rocking hard good time!

My most recent trip was a girls getaway down the road to New Orleans with my good friend Renada who lives in Minnesota. Although Renada had a HORRIBLE day of flying and got stuck in Atlanta on our first day, she did make it to the Big Easy in time for us to have a laid back good time!She was sooo excited to come where it was "hot". That didn't last long, once she stepped outside the A/C of the New Orleans airport I'm sure the humidity and heat took her breath away ha ha. We had a great time doing tourist things. It was all new to me since my New Orleans days mainly consisted of Bourbon St. and well, Bourbon St. This time, I was able to experience some of the true culture that the city is known for. Attended the Satchmo music festival where I learned about Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong, listened to some of his recordings and heard other Jazz bands.

We walked around the French Market Had breakfast biegnets at Cafe du Monde', experienced afternoon showers where if we didn't like the weather at the moment we could just....wait and it got better :-) Did the dinner cruise on the Natchez Steamboat, ate at some GREAT restaurants and of course no New Orleans trip would be complete without time spent on Bourbon St.

We also took a tour of Oak Alley Plantation but I'm saving that recap for a blog all on its own since I was just amazed at seeing shot gun slave quarters, seeing the bricks that were hand made by the slaves, reading how much they were "worth" etc etc, but yea, that's for a separate blog.

2) HEALTHCARE: So, I've been following President Obama's Healthcare "reform" bill relatively close, well as close as my schedule has been allowing me too and man, is he setting us back with his socialistic "changes". I'm not afraid to say that I don't agree with A LOT of his politics and for most people that know me, they already know that. This "reform" bill is just another downward spiral of my civil liberties being infringed upon. Let me take a step back and say that yes, I believe that everyone should have access to affordable health care, I do. Believe it or not, I even think the welfare system has it's place. Yes, super vocal against welfare me, believe it has it's place. We hear about and see lots of people milking the system. I'm VERY vocal about those types of people and what I think of them. What we rarely get exposed to are the people who get on and get off. The people who may have gone through an ugly divorce and needed a little help to get back on her feet. And for them, I'd like to keep the system but revamp it a bit. All those loopholes would have to close. This is how I envision the governmental ran healthcare working, them telling me what doctors I can see, what procedures are covered, etc etc. The US is notorious for being inadequate at handling most governmental run programs so why would anyone think this one would be any different. A friend pointed out earlier too, most people are thinking this is "free", um, no the bill says "affordable"..isn't that a relative term?? There's Medicare, Medicad and umpteen other FREE clinics in every state offered to those who can't readily afford health care, how bout we pump some money into "fixing" that before doing a drive by overhaul of healthcare in America. I'm sure I could go on and on, but really folks, peep the BIG picture of this "reform" before swallowing it hook, line, and sinker.

I think I've captured your attention long enough, as usual I apologize for the hiatus, but I'm still learning this whole committment thing, but have no fear, I'll always come back!

Brown...out!

P.S. LSU football is right around the corner!! The team reported to campus today, 1st game is 31 days away!!! I'm so ready!!

Suicide is not an option

2009-06-19T10:02:00.002-05:00

That's a pretty heavy title but for the sake of me not thinking for anything cliche'ish, I'll just use the truth. Most folks don't know that what seems like many moons ago I was suicidal. Yep, ME! I hid it ~~too damn~~ relatively well and carried out my daily life as if things were just fine, but in reality I was 1 drink away from voluntarily driving off a bridge in my drunk state or 1 pill away from sleeping it all away. It's weird for me to think about those dark dark days in my life and wonder why I didn't go through with it. It's even weirder for me to look in the mirror and see the same physical person looking back at me, but know that that person from back then doesn't even exist in my world. She, was a "rising" star but a falling meteor all at the same time. I've never really talked about those dark days unless I'm really led to share it in a way that will let someone else see that hey, just because you think life is ~~shitty~~ overated and you're ready to be done with it, suicide doesn't have to be an option. There are other ways to cope with the struggles of life. For me it was therapy and salvation.

Yes, THERAPY, As in seeing a random psychologist and talking that crap out and getting help. Black folks think therapy is taboo and we are always told or taught to "pray" about it and everything will be fine. Yea, I'm all for praying about situations and trusting God, but I also know that when I was sitting on that couch, 6 beers in me, 3 or 4 sleeping pills in me and god knows what other substances, God was NOT on my mind in any way except God get me outta here, but somewhere inside of me suicide wasn't an option. Even though I "thought" that I didn't want to go on and deal with my issues, in reality, I just needed real help with HOW to deal with my issues. Issues that to some others weren't issues at all, issues that I was clearly making mountains out of mole hills to those on the outside looking in, or issues that I was too strong and had too much going on to not know how to handle. Sometimes friends and family members really don't listen when you're clearly and even not so clearly reaching out for their help.

All of this suicide talk is for a purpose, no, I'm not suicidal, not even stressed at the moment. Not where I want to be in all aspects of my life, but definitely a much different person and know when I'm close to a breaking point and know how to get help before hand. I have a cousin who is living with me right now because he was where I was all those moons ago and he actually went through with his suicide attempt. Thankfully his attempt wasn't a fatal one and in reality was an outcry for HELP. HELP that some of my family members are oblivious and clearly inadequate to provide to him. I'll gladly admit that there is ~~a lot a lot a lot~~ mild dysfunction on that side of the family and I'll gladly admit that I'm so glad my parents ~~got outta that hell hole~~ left their hometown and raised us in a city, I'm digressing. Well, kinda, dysfunctional family + lack of caring/listening = suicide BEING an option. Dysfunctional family+ lack of listening/sharing + therapy = suicide NOT being an option. My cousin has gone through therapy sessions while he was recovering in the hospital (which his mother only saw him ONE time at in the 4 or 5 weeks he was there , but that's another blog) and I know he's not "crazy", I know what its like to feel like the world is crashing in and I was in a much better state financially/stability wise than him but when your world is crashing, you can be sitting in a 6,000ft mansion and feel like you're already 6 feet in the ground.

I guess with him being around and me being selfless a whole lot lately, it has reminded me of how far I've come in my own mental capacity and personal growth. It has also reminded me of how selfish of an act suicide is. Everything about it is pure d selfish. I know not everyone makes it through their dark times and for them, they don't get out. I've been called a "fixer" and that's a pretty good assessment of me for the most part. Instead of getting riled up in kaos or getting frustrated when a situation seems out of control, I assess the scene and figure out a way to difuse or "fix" it to where its workable again. This is not one of those situations where I'm going to "fix". His life is his life and I'm merely providing a stable calm drama-free (for the most part) environment for him to start over again. He said he wanted out of Crappville and wanted to change and start over. I can help in giving him a temporary zip code that isn't Crappville and I can point him in the right direction for positivity but I'm so not taking on a fixer role in this situation. He has to make the moves to do better and I guess he's already made the first choice, of letting go of the past, getting help and living life like its worth living.

I told someone just this morning that life is really what you make of it. We live everyday with a choice, to embrace life and make the best of it, or to embrace life and be miserable in our situations. What's your choice? This isn't my usual fun friday post, I'll have to follow up with something a little more light hearted.

Brown..out!

Prodigal child returns

2009-06-03T10:22:00.004-05:00

**taps mic**

**coughs**

Is...is this thing on..

** coughs**

**blows off the dust that has gathered in the box**

Wow. It has been way too long since I wrote a blog. My life has been topsyturvey and is kinda sorta getting back to right side up. Whenever I try and wallow in my own issues, I'm pulled into a "take charge" role and have to care for someone else and put me on the backburner. I guess that's good that I don't have selfwallowing moments for long, but damn, if I can't have like 5 minutes of woe is me! When will I be allowed to not be the care taker but the care takee?? I know I'm just a bit frustrated and venting, but for someone who doesn't have any offsprings I sure do a lot of responsible actions for people who did not reside inside of me for 9 months. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be where I am in life to be able to do for others and glad that others see me as someone that they can rely on in their time of troubles, but it gets taxing, mainly because I don't always feel as though I have anyone there for me in my taxing moments. I've had that feeling for years so I'm convinced it's an "it's not you, it's ME" kinda problem.

I am terribly simple and terribly complex at the same time.

I am in a "neutral" position with my personal life, not moving forward and kinda moving backwards if I can be honest with myself. It surely wasn't my idea to pump the brakes and go into this position, but I'm rolling with the flow. It's just a weird, semi-awkward position to be in. Not knowing what is good to say and what is crossing the neutral zone. I know this is a temporary fix, a band aid of sorts. I just hope my emotions don't go into a complete reverse position.

Things are crazy at my job. There are talks of "restructuring" so amist the tension of everyday life goings, there's tension at the job, but we're to carry on with business as usual. Yea right! I want to believe and have every sense of security that my position is secure and don't want to bail ship prematurely, but I also don't want to have a false sense of security and go down with a sinking ship, what a quandry to be in! I would feel better if the management above my pay grade had more information than what they have shared, they seem to be just as clueless as to what is going to happen as we do, since the evaluations are being done by outside individuals. We'll see. Either way, I'll be fine. Scared, but still fine.

Brown...out!

Bounce, bounce..pass..

2009-05-05T21:58:00.002-05:00

I had this whole blog in my head that I thought was gonna make it to this here lil box, but let's just say I'm gonna have to learn to bounce back quicker cause this feeling sucks.

Brown..out!

There's a new sheriff fin town..or not.

2009-04-27T12:06:00.006-05:00

Most of you guys know that I'm one of bloglands most eligible bachelorettes. I've been "single" for quite some time now. Mostly because I've been super indifferent to the dating process and the likes, and some because there haven't been any suitable suitors worth changing my single disposition. Well, I "thought" there was the potential for me to stick my player card in the freezer and settle down and do the whole dating thing yada yada yada. Well, turns out, that's not the case at all!

So I met "the sheriff" one day while sitting and working at Barnes and Noble. Admittedly I wasn't interested in him or any other person who approached me that day because I was behind on work and had finally gotten into a flow of things and really didn't want to jinx it by stopping and making small talk with any of the passerby's in the place, and not eventhe tall handsome who was all in my personal space. I was actually probably a biotch to dude so to my surprise after he took my card he actually called me. *gasp* All this time I'd been doing things backwards apparently, being nice had gotten me NOTHING, being a total b...a potential match! Geaux figure.

Fast forward, "the sheriff" and I had text quite a bit, had gone out once, both our schedules were pretty hectic and he had been working nights and I had been doing a lot of travelling and had a full schedule so logistically we hadn't really had time to hang out although both of us made it clear that we enjoyed the conversation and wanted to hang out. The time that we did go out it was great. Great conversation, little flirting, he was a total gentleman, did I mention great conversation. It's hard to find someone that I can have really good conversation with without it being redundant or without me feeling like I'm having to dumb down, so to speak. He's a bit of nerd like myself so it was cool. Althought I must admit that I probably learned more about guns and holsters than I care too, but that's his thing so I listened, nodded and smiled. "The sheriff" finally had a weekend off and let me know this quite a few times throughout the week that he'd be available, so in my mind I was thinking, I guess I'll see him Fri. and/or Sat. night.

Most folks probably don't peg me for a traditionalist when it comes to dating but I am. I believe the guy should ask the lady out, the guy should open doors, pull the chair out, the whole nine. So after playing a bit of phone tag on Friday (because my phone sucks!!) we finally connect and im asking, so what are your plans for the night yada yada yada and he mentions he's going to go to the gym and work out and will hit me back, cool. I had a long day so I could use some down time. I wasn't expecting him to hit me back at like 10pm. Yea, I didn't answer the phone.

Sat. we txt a few times and again, I ask what his plans are, and he says, nothing except he wanted to watch the lakers game, I'm like cool. I ask,you plan to watch it there or go out, opening the door for him to say, lets go watch the game somewhere, yea, didn't happen and I REFUSED to ask him out. I did all the hard work for him, told him it would be nice to see him, said I'm forgetting what he looks like, talked about the lakers as if I liked them, all he had to do was say, you want to watch the game! like seriously.

So now, I'm here thinking, that he had potential to be a distraction and maybe more, but I think deep down I wasn't that into him in the first place and just maybe he wasn't that into me either but it just irks me that he couldn't man up and just ask me out! When it was so obvious (to me) that he wanted too. And people wonder why I'm so indifferent to dating. If this is how it is, then they can keep that.

Adios Mr. Sheriff.

Brown, out!

Funny Pic Friday and some other stuff too

2009-04-24T15:01:00.009-05:00

This pic seemed appropriate for the type of week I've had. Like seriously, it's been a super packed week, meeting upon meeting upon meeting. And when I haven't been meeting, I've been doing forms for clients or *gasp* filing. Let the record show that I SUCK at making file folders/labels and all that good stuff. I'm not a file snob per se but I really just don't have the time to stop "real" work to make some lables, stick em on a folder, and put the folder in a file cabinet. Yea it seems easy enough and in reality, it is pretty simple, but I have sooooo much other stuff I could be doing than making files. I think you guys get the picture that I don't like to make files. Anybody watch The Hills? I was just reminded of Spencer's (who is a major douche' bag) sister, I think her name is Stephanie, and how she was in an interview and BOMBED it and had no clue what a label was or how to affix one to anything **scratching head** like for real???

Anyway, so my week has been a productive one. Picked up 2 new clients for my consulting gig, so that's kinda cool.
That's one of the reasons I've been so busy. I've been running the show kinda solo lately, which sucks, but hey, it is what it is for the time being. I finally got the website to a point where I'm actually telling people about it, peep it and pass it on to your friends and family members http://www.yourcatalyst.net/ I did however make a faux paux on my business cards, and now I have to order new ones, my bad huh.

Well, it's the weekend, not sure what I'm getting into, a little bit of this, a little bit of nothing. Actually I do know, work. I'm behind on some stuff for some clients so I'm going to bite the bullet and just spend a few hours one day and just smash it out. I may try and see what CL is doing and hook up with them, maybe. That reminds me that I have a post about CL, I should probably run it by CL first since I "think" they found my blog and may not want me to be putting their business on front street like that, even though they are anonymous to the world wide web. I also have a post about our social..President and all of these "leaks" of confidential information, but I'll save that for a weekday and not go into the weekend with anything "heavy".

I took Rocky to the dog park one day this week and forgot his leash, but I did remember he needed food, so no leash + trip to Petsmart = a ride in the buggy for Rockstar! He's never been in a buggy before and surprisingly did really well. He didn't really try and jump out the basket at all, thankfully, because I could see me now chasing behind him in Petsmart.

Alright blog land, I think I'm going to make my escape from the Plantation now and go soak up some of this beautiful weather! Have a great weekend!

Brown..out!

Catch me if you can..

2009-04-21T21:32:00.006-05:00

Easter came and went and I didn't post a Jesus died on the cross for our (yours and mine) sins kinda blog. Actually, the blog would've been that Jesus ROSE from the dead after dying on the cross for our (yours and mine) sins. I think that's the more accurate depection of how that blog would've have at least started, who knows how it would have ended, or maybe I gave away the ending with the rising from the dead part, ha ha. Ok, enough circle talk, Easter did come and go and I was able to spend some time in TX with my family and my BFF who was in town visiting a sick friend of hers. The only downside to that trip was that I got sick on the day that I was supposed to hang out with T before she headed back to the Midwest :-( That pretty much sucked, along with the 4hr drive I had to make as well feeling like crap.

So back in the boot....

Had to see a doc about a shoulder issue, that is still a freakin issue, ugh!

I came across a pretty dumb debate on a message board that I frequent. The questioned was taken from this lil snippet of an article

Miss USA stirs controversy
The Internet was buzzing Monday about a Miss USA controversy.
First runner-up Carrie Prejean (Miss California) was asked about legalizing same-sex marriage from judge Perez Hilton, the Internet blogger behind perezhilton.com."I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be," Prejean said during Sunday night's live telecast.Hilton was visibly upset, and there was a mixed reaction from the live audience. Prejean ultimately came up short, losing the title to Miss North Carolina, Kristen Dalton.On Monday, Keith Lewis, the executive director for Miss California USA/Teen USA, said he was saddened by Prejean's response.Prejean, who has been romantically linked to Olympian Michael Phelps, spoke on Monday, too: "I feel like I'm the winner. I really do," she said to pageant host Billy Bush on "The Billy Bush Show," noting that she had 1,000 new messages on Facebook and 2,000 friend requests.Prejean added that her answer "did cost me my crown," but said: "I wouldn't have had it any other way. I said what I feel. I stated an opinion that was true to myself, and that's all I can do."

The question posed was if you were in her shoes, would you have given the same response? Should her response have cost her the crown? My how the keys were flying on that one! I tried to stay out of it mainly because I was super busy at work and didn't have time to really "play" today, but of course I don't think her opinion and her views should have cost her the crown, she gave an honest answer about how she feels, which was her right to do so. Some of the diabtribe that was going on was pure d ridiculous to me, see, that's me giving my opinion that is probably against the grain, but when is my opinion along the grain.

I'll have to tell you all about the surprise party for my grandma at a later date, ya girl is tirred! (and yes I spelled that wrong on purpose)

Well blogland, it's time for me to call it a night, I have long days ahead of me.

Brown, out!

Rocky Report

2009-04-09T16:39:00.004-05:00

I haven't talked much about blogland's most spoiled mutt,Rocky lately. He has made a few treks to the dog park this spring and here are a few pics from last week, or maybe it was this week, who knows. I do remember my hands freezing tho and minimal humping by the little humper!

I love that he's so social when he's out there. He will play with the biggest dog at the park or the smallest dog, he doesn't discriminate. The same goes for his humping at the park.

Happy Easter holiday folks!

Brown..out!

It's Holy Week..

2009-04-06T09:26:00.007-05:00

As in Holy smokes Batman, I'm off Good Friday and the day after Easter!! I'll be making a trek to Houston to visit with the fam and some friends and my bestfriend Tonya will be in town from Missouri YAY!!!! She'll be there visiting a friend of hers who is sick right now and of course to see me too..I'm superduper excited to hang out with her. I haven't seen her since I guess sometime last year, I think it may have been 4th of July, but it's been too long. I had a good weekend, not too busy and not too boring, kinda the right mix of things. I guess the only thing really missing was CL. CL was kinda hemmed up this weekend, which kinda sucked for me but such is life.

At any rate, I don't have any real plans for when I'm in Texas, I'm hoping to catch up with a few buddies, spend time with the kiddos and just kinda chill. Last time I was in hibernation and didn't do much of anything, I guess I'll be a little more social and actually leave the nest of my parents house. I'm sure my mom will want to drag me shopping somewhere and my dad will want me to fix/figure something out on the computer. I swear they wait for me to come in town do do all kinda things. What I'm really hoping for is that they've taken down that darn Christmas tree..lol

I've been thinking about my alterego lately, mainly because she has been rearing her head in the form of this overly sensitive, expressive chick, that I can't seem to contain. It's like a jack-in-the box, she's been wound up, danced to the music and BOOM! out she came all out the box and now that she's out the box I can't get her to go back in.

I say this is my alter ego because I'm pretty level headed 98.7% of the time, I reserve the other 1.3% for that special time in the fall that is LSU gamedays when I've been known to act a complete fool. I morph into "that" fan, the one you tell your kids not to listen to and the one who is oh so close to being kicked out of the game. The one who I would call a douche bag if they're on the opposing team, but yes, I'm not here to talk about football. I've always managed to have "alterego" in check because I was focusing on my career and wasn't trying to let anyone get really close to me. So of course I was able to control the situations and keep my feelings and emotions under wraps, doing just enough to keep them at bay for my own purposes. That sounds so harsh but that was then and this is now and here I am now, looking for a way to put all the gooeyness that is alterego back in the box. Ya'll help me out, it's too early to be showing my cards. I'm gladly taking suggestions on how to get her back in the box, please and thank you!

Alright blogland,

Brown..is..out!

Battle of the Boot

2009-04-02T15:31:00.002-05:00

Just as I sign on to write todays blog the LSU Fight song came on the rotation of my itunes, how fitting! considering the topic of todays discussion is brought to you by the letters, L-S-U!! It's no secret that I'm a ~~psycho~~ super LSU fan, with football being my most favorite sport to root on my Tigers. Well CL and I were having a conversation yesterday regarding the upcoming LSU Spring Football game and I of course have been hyping up this game for quite some time now. To me the quintesential LSU fan, the Spring game marks the dawn of a new era being unveiled in maybe 100 scripted plays inside of Tiger Stadium on a spring April day in front of maybe 30-40 thousand of my closest friends. It's a day for the families to come to campus and tailgate, take in the electric game day atmosphere that can barely be described in words because it is JUST.THAT.GREAT! I've been bringing my nephews to this game since they've been able to walk, it's intro to LSU football 101. You get the same game day atmosphere (give or take 70K people) but it's more family oriented, than "hey we're going to whoop your --- oriented"

Seriously, LSU game day is one experience that any true college football fan should want to experience. Just like I was geeked about going to Notre Dame circa 1998ish when LSU played them in South Bend. Who doesn't want to see ~~hot guys in kilts playing the bagpipes~~ Touchdown Jesus! To be inside of that stadium knowing that those are the same sidelines that Rudy roamed, that the great Joe Montana roamed, the same field that the Rocket Ishmael blazed. Some serious college football history inside that place. Just like I remember being in Bryant-Dehney Stadium, home of the ~~loserrific~~ Alabama Crimson Tide, and appreciating the experience of seeing where Bear Bryant was the king of the jungle. I haven't made my way to the Horseshoe of Ohio State University or to the "Big House" of Michigan, but they're on my list. Definitely not because I'm a fan of those schools or their conference, but because I'm a college football fan and can appreciate the history that lies within those facilities. The LSU spring game is a staple for us Tiger maniacs, it is something we look forward to each spring and this year even more so after LSU had such a sub par 8-5 season last year and this year we've signed the #1 recruiting class and have high hopes of making a run for the National Championship. I know, slow down little grasshopper, the season isn't even here, but for me in the "spring" and "fall", those times are defined by almost LSU football season and finally LSU football season, ha ha

I guess because I am such a fanatic about LSU football, I don't get the idea of why anyone would think of the game as being "dumb" or a "waste of time to see us hit each other" CL is a semi-LSU fan and I'm in the process of ~~brainwashing~~ convincing them to see the greatest that is LSU in a brighter limelight and so far we're not seeing eye to eye on this Spring game. I did however have a conversation with another LSU fan like myself that went a little something like this:

Me: Why don't non-LSU fans get the idea of a spring football game. It's the right of passage to see the newbies and the new team

Friend: Even Alabama gets it..lol (last year Bama had 90K at their "practice" game)

Me:yea they do, the one thing they do get!

Friend: I know what you mean though, most people think that we're total losers to be packing up the kids and spending the night in a hotel just for a "practice game"

Me: This is totally a situation where it's THEM and not ME (this time)

Friend: I was like OMG, this will be the first time Bailey hears the Golden Band from Tigerland!!! (live of course she's heard them on itunes and for home tailgates)

That's right, train up a child in the way that they should go ha ha She gets it! She gets the tradition of seeing the team for the first time after a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG offseason. She gets that it's a family outing. She gets that tailgating shall commence as if this was a SEC night in Death Valley. She gets that it doesn't matter that in the eyes of those ~~losers, normal people~~ who have not been fortunate enough to experience a Saturday night in Death Valley think we're idiots and think the game is merely between our own players. She gets that thousands will still make the trek to campus, tailgate, get some autographs and pics of team members and with Mike the Tiger.

Battle of the Boot may be a "practice" game to some, but to others it's the beginning of the Battle for the Championship.

GEAUX TIGERS!!!!

Brown....out!

Too cute for words(except the few that are there..lol)

2009-04-01T15:38:00.004-05:00

This is Bailey and she is super duper cute!!! She is the youngest of one of my best friends and was enjoying her time with her family in Disney last week when this pic was taken. I just wanted to share the cuteness with the world. Look at those eyes!

Right on target

2009-04-01T10:59:00.008-05:00

A few weeks I posted about a missed connection but today I was fumbling for a blog topic and my friend, let's call them "Computer Love"(CL) suggested that I talk about how everytime someone comes to their desk an IM from me pops up. I laughed and then thought, well that there is surely not a missed connection but a bullseye and I'm right on target. Is it purely a coincidence that that scenario happens at least fiftyleven times throughout the day. I think it says something that we're meant to talk at that moment and at that time. Or maybe it means that it's time to let the world know that we talk as much as we do throughout the day. Our friendship is kinda tricky because of the nature of how we met and who our mutual friends are.

I'll go on record and even say that CL told me flat out that they thought I was a "stuck up, snotty, bitch" in those exact words! I KNOW!! ME, stuck up, snotty and a bitch, that's like a trifecta or something. But now that we're on the other end of the judgement stick they see that I'm this "normal" person who has at least 31 different sides, most of which they haven't even scratched the surface of getting to. Ya'll remember that whole Wall of China reference, yea. CL is really funny and has caused more than a share of thought provoking moments for me. I don't know if they appreciate being blog fodder but hey, I have to write about something and they even suggest the topic so maybe they secretly want to see themselves exposed to the world wide web. I think this bullseye is even deeper than popping up on an IM at the exact moment that a co-worker comes into their office but that's not for this blog, but I will say, one day we're going to laugh while we look back on this blog when we've fully conquered my wall and their status quo and remember how I said on April fools of all days, that what we have going on is RIGHT ON TARGET.

Brown..out!

Confessions, good for the soul.

2009-03-26T14:37:00.002-05:00

So it's Sunday and I've had a double dose of "church" and I'm feeling a little open bookish and since I didn't really have anything to blog about specifically these randomly speaking blogs are usually pretty entertaining (to me). So, in no particular order or without any rhyme or reason here are some of my confessions (cue Usher in the background..lol)

1) I really need a vacation. I was asked to go on a trip with some "friends" but I really really really don't want to go anywhere with them. I'm trying to come up with a tactful way to say thanks but no thanks. I think I'll actually just be honest and say I'm going home that weekend and plan to well, go home and see the fam.

2) I LOVE my life. I don't necessarily love all of the ups and downs that I tend to go through at times, but I live a FANTABULOUS life. It's ok to be jealous of it ha ha. I hear a lot of different situations that some of my friends go through with their lives and I'm absolutely grateful to be where I am in this time of my life. Single, childless and all.

3) I always say I'm not a writer, but I think there is a writer in me. I guess there has to be one since I write grants for a semi-living. I tested out of a lot of English so I didn't really have much "writing" training back in undergrad, maybe that's why I don't fancy myself to be one, but sometimes I read the stuff I write and go wow, that's not bad at all, and ask, who wrote that? ha ha

4) I'm sitting at the coffee shop with no headphones and the "humming" of the drink machine is really starting to bother me. Which is odd considering the reason I leave my "quiet" house to get work done is because I like the background noise of the coffee shop. Ok, that's a half truth, I do like the background noise, but I also like to watch the handsome goodlookings that sometimes frequent the shops.

5) My mom is selling Mary Kay **eye rolling** I told her not to count on me to pimp the product. I'm NOT a salesman, at all. I don't have the patience nor the skills to even want to be one. I barely pimp my business www.yourcatalyst.net and that's something that I have a stake in so really, I'll pass on the Mary Kay hustle. Times ain't that bad for the kid.

6) Speaking of piming my business, if I could/would be more disciplined about it, I could expand so much faster than what it's taking me. Part of me is afraid to expand past where I am, but the demand is totally there. It's time for me to seize the day!

7) I have a mad crush on someone. I think they know it, when I'm around them I turn into a 13yr old girl, blushing and crap and twirling my hair and smiling and trying not to sound like a bumbling fool. Whenever the conversations are over, I'm like, who are you??? Crushes are fun.

8) Church was really good today. I like my church a lot.

9) I sometimes think I bite off more than I can handle with my business. I think its part of the not wanting to let anyone down syndrome that I USED to deal with way back when. Most times things fall into place and I get done what needs to be done, but its the getting there part that gives me the blues, whites, and greys man.

10) I miss a lot of my friends.

11) Maintenance on 2 vehicles is NOT the business.

Well, since I'm supposed to be working insteading of blogging let me go and get some work done. Hope everyone has had a great weekend and hope you all have great weeks.

Brown..out!

Genetics

2009-03-23T10:24:00.005-05:00

Looks like this pose is on our DNA :-) My sister sent me these pics last night of my nephew Stan Man. He's so cute! I'm sure it was past his bedtime but that's a whole nother converstation. I think Stan Man will be hanging with me this summer so it should be interesting how that goes. The Auntourage will definitely be in full effect. I got a brief feeling of what it was like to have him full time a few months ago, but that was only for a few weeks, 3 months is a long time in my mind. We'll see if those plans eally happens though. I'm sure we'd have a grand ole time, kicking it! or he'll leave hating me ha ha

Brown..out!

Funny Pic Friday...

2009-03-20T16:13:00.003-05:00

I think I'll start a new "tradition" up in this here lil blog. I come across a lot of different pics throughout my day when I'm perusing the net and doing "research" for work related projects. I came across this pic on a message board that I'm on and I thought it was HIGHLARIOUS way back in November when it was first posted and I just came across it again and it gets the honor of being the 1st pic for the 1st Funny pic Friday. And since I brought my spirituality into this blog a few days ago it's kind of fitting, so without further adeu (or however you spell it)

Lol...I hope everyone has a great weekend and has as gorgeous weather has I'm having on this 1st day of Spring! Geaux Tigers beat the Tar Heels on Sat!!!

Brown..out!

Missed connection

2009-03-17T09:25:00.005-05:00

I have a lot of degrees. I'm not saying that in a braggadocios kinda way, it's just the truth. Most folks like to tease me about that little fact, but most folks don't know that there is one degree that got away from me. For a long long long time I thought I would go to seminary school and get a theology degree and kinda transition to maybe doing full time ministry somewhere. No lie. I don't know what happened along the way, well, yes I do, I chose to finish my MBA and pursue my business career instead and put seminary on the backburner. I don't know if I would consider myself a theology school drop out, but I surely didn't go forth and get the formal education in how ministry works and all that good stuff like I anticipated. I haven't talked much about my spiritual life in this blog, don't know why, just haven't, much like I don't get into too much of my "real" personal life. There are moments where I'm an open book and other moments it's like the great wall of China is protecting "ME" and I'm all isolated with my own thoughts, fears, issues, emotions, problems, defeats, wins, etc etc. I had or have a pretty solid relationship with God (Jesus/Holy Spirit) but the last few years I've slowly back tracked on the things that formed my solid foundation, like prayer, bible reading, accountability to authority to some degree and I've allowed myself to not only compromise on some things but also justify my actions that deep down I know a few years ago I would've never allowed to happen.

I think back and wonder if I would do those things had I gone forth and moved forward with seminary school. I been in a fairly weird place emotionally for me. Been dealing with some personal issues that I think have been the main catalyst for me not sleeping well and having headaches. I don't "feel" stressed and I don't think I am it's just that I've never been great at dealing with personal issues, especially expressing them outwardly to others. I do eventually, but it takes me a while, remember that whole wall of China reference from before. I was rattled in my psyche about a situation that I thought I was in a fairly good position about, things were flowing smooth, it was butterflies and puppies and then like a fat diamond rock (oh the irony), it changed and I was knocked off my game. Like everything I "thought" was right was now being questioned in my mind and was now making me doubtful, insecure and walking around with my heart on my sleeve, that ain't me! I don't do insecure. It's amazing how expressing yourself can relieve so much uneasiness, even if it turns out that you're completely making something out of nothing, which is my typical mantra, and was more so the case in this situation than there being something "wrong".

My spiritual life has suffered because of some of the choices I've made over the last few years, but I'm always brought back and reminded one way or another that even though I may think I'm not where I should be, others still have faith in me and come to me when their own situations lead them to someone they know who can comfort them, give them sound advice, and that they trust and that they see as "spiritual" Maybe I didn't "need" the seminary to lead the ministry lifestyle and it's just a missed connection. And the relationship that I've built to walk on the "right" side of the fence is enough and I should learn to forgive myself for things that I can't go back and change and to remember that I'll never know who sees me as Angie the bible thumper, even at those times where I just feel like a seminary drop out.

Brown...out!

Blogger down..

2009-03-11T10:48:00.003-05:00

That picture is funny as hell to me! Ya'll can act like you didn't laugh or at least remember a moment where you were in a theater and black folks started talking to the screen or each other for that matter. I thought it was funny, but that's just me, it's ok white people who read my blog, ya'll can think its funny too and laugh!

I don't know what's gotten into me. As of late, I'll start a blog and won't finish it. I don't know if I'm not pleased with the content of the blog or if it's just something that I thought I wanted to blog about but then later changed my mind, or maybe it's just that I've been too (lazy) busy to really focus on the blog like I used too. It's been an up and down month of March and it's only the 10th or 11th or something. When I get too much free time, my mind starts to do weird things, like think of a whole new career change complete with relocation and EVERYTHING..at least I'm thorough in my breakdowns. I cover all aspects. As of the 11th I'm not moving, not that I had anything concrete set up, but I did go as far as contacting my realtor to get a market analysis of the housing market in my area, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have sold my house because a) If I changed my mind, I would want to come back and have a place to live; b) the market isn't all "that" great right now; c) I love my house!; d) the $ amount the realtor told me wasn't all that impressive, to me, so, I'm back to finding my way back to being content where I am for the moment.

I think alot of me being all over the place does have some to do with the fact that I'm not in a serious relationship right now. I'm convinced that I'll be single forever. Most days I'm ok with that notion because I live a fabulous life that I don't really have to share unless I want to. There is something about having that special someone to share moments with but at the same time there are moments when you want to shank that special someone because they were acting special in a moment..lol, kinda like the moment I had right before lunch. Talk about being pissed!!!

Not sure where I'm going with this blog post today, except to say I'm still out here. I have all of these blogs that I need to finish and post. I hope in the next few weeks/days/months or whatever my actions will begin to reflect my internal desire to keep this blog updated. You readers hold me accountible to this post, if I don't have anything I know I have my word and Rockstar!!

Brown..out!

Peek a boo

2009-02-25T16:48:00.006-06:00

Don't let that cute face fool you, the kid is BAD! (as evidenced in the semi-tempertantum below)

Looks like I have some competition on guitar hero now. I was able to spend some time with my 2 favorite nephews for Mardi Gras break. Don't mind the Christmas tree that is STILL up in my parents house..lol Like seriously, take down the tree already!!! I miss the kids!!

Brown..out!

Randomly speaking

2009-02-12T14:36:00.003-06:00

What's good blog land! I haven't posted anything in a while, been a little too busy, a little uninspired and a little lazy to really write anything. I can always do a randomly speaking because that's just how my mind works. It's the thoughts that are meaningful and "serious" that I always have a problem making the keys stroke, but here I am, the day after a thought provoking HuMp DaY making the keys do what they do. So, in no particular order, here are some random musings as they pop in my head. I always say there's a method to the madness of my brain so don't be surprised if some of these connect.

1) Stop texting and calling me, I know you're not reading this b/c I've long ago deleted you from my page, my phone, my IM, my email, like seriously, take the hint and KICK A BIG ASS ROCK, and by hint, I mean my words where I said, stop texting and calling me . I'm irked that this person still feels the need to try and contact me out the blue and way more often than I care about.

2) I always thought Rihanna was spelled Rhianna, that just makes way more sense to me.

3) I wonder if I'm gonna get a stimulus check? Should I start stalking my mailbox for some mail I may actually open?

4) I text with Csleezy no less than probably 50+ times a day, but we NEVER talk on the phone and we both like it like that. (as my phone buzzes w/a text from her) some of our conversations are highlarious..

5) Rocky is a brat, but I was bout to have some serious words with a dude at the dog park last weekend because he was saying something smart about my dog. Dogs are dogs and they sometimes hump, nothing is "wrong" with my dog because he's humping your fat beagle mix. My dog is just more SUPERIOR to your lil wimpy dog who is LETTING Rocky pimp him or her(I didn't ask) and dominate him/her at the park. If one more thing was said about my dog we both were gonna get banned, blee dat!

5a) Speaking of Rocky, look at this brat, I walk out of the bathroom from my morning shower and see this. Guess the minute I crawled out of bed this chump jumps in my bed and gets in MY spot and on MY pillow, who does he think he is??

6) Someone's situation is always worse than yours, be thankful and stop all the whining already!

7) Blogland has been uber boring lately. I don't care about Chris Brown or Rihanna and that's all anyone seems to be writing about these days. We all know that C.Brown's career won't be over behind all of this if he did indeed lay the smackdown and bitedown on Rihanna(I had to backspace and more the "h" and "i" around (see#2)) one word, 2 syllable R-AH Kelly. Hello, dude straight peed on a KID, taped it and STILL got off cause he can make them beats go la la..

7a) I think syllable is spelled wrong but I'm too lazy to go to my favorite site GOOGLE and check it.

7b) GOOGLE is sooooooooooooooo the business, like for real, I google no less than 10 times a day!

8) I'm ready for a trip somewhere but don't know where, maybe a road trip..

9) I been super insecure lately for some reason about all kinda random stuff, including work and that's sooo not like me..

10) I sometimes feel more sympathy when bad things happen to animals, like all those animals that died from those wildfires in Australia, than I do for some people.

11) My mom has clearly lost her mind. No, I will not have twin girls and No I will not buy you a stainless steel appliance for your birthday last I checked she was still married to my dad and they BOTH still had their jobs and THEY are the ones redoing their kitchen at THEIR house, not MY house.

12) It kills me how quick folks spend a refund check, like dang, that money was burning a hole in them pockets huh..

13) I've done a sleu of folks taxes but haven't really looked at my own yet, and oddly enough I'm thinking of getting someone to do mine for me..

Aight, I should probably get back to doing some work but it's hard to sit here and look out the window and KNOW how great it feels outside. Hope everyone has been doing well. What's randomly going on with you guys (if this mic is on)?

Brown..out!

Is Black the "new" Black? (Thanks Shakeia)

2009-02-04T17:01:00.002-06:00

So as a a sign that is to usher in the new Republican party, Michael Steele, was elected the first African American chairman of the Republican National Convention. Steele, is the former Lt. Gov. of Maryland. He was elected after 6 rounds of voting, after winning a majority of the votes. Yay for the GOP? or something like that..

I'm not trying to take away from this moment for the Grande Ole Partay, or Mr. Steele, but... one has to wonder, was he really the right choice for the job? I mean, it took SIX rounds of voting which to me means there wasn't overwhelming support. Or was this all a ploy to get much of the vote they lost in the 2008 election? 90% of the minority vote went to then Senator Barack Obama. Are my Repubs trying to regain their once prosperous grassroots organization by electing a Black chairman? Is Black the "new" black?

I'm watching now to see what's going to happen. The GOP is a party divided and party that is getting ready to lose many generation Xers and Yers and any other generation folks who find their recent shinanighans OBSURD. Michael Steele is a conservative, who is more toward the middle, and if Sarah Palin really is being groomed to become the GOP candidate in 2012, and she's so far to the right.... how will this work? Will they gain votes from moderates and staunch conservatives? Can the GOP rebuild in 4 years?

What about Rush Limbaugh? Is he the boss? Lately, Rush has been talking out the side of his neck in an effort to "challenge" the GOP to stand up to President Obama. Is there a separate division of the GOP that follows Limbaugh? How will the GOP unite the party and gain those states that "went blue"? I've long ago stopped listening to Rush's foolishness and I hope my conservative counterparts have done the same because he's not doing the party or anyone else any good at the moment.

Brown...out!

I survived.

2009-01-24T18:53:00.008-06:00

Yet another ski trip with a great group of friends. This was our 4th annual ski trip and each year the festivities, the laughs, the scares down the 'mountains', and the stories to be told (or not told *wink*) get bigger and better! This year our group doubled in size from the previous years and the "newbies" fit right in! Here are a few pics of the adventure.

In the end we had a really great time. Our snowboard instructor was really cool!! I'm sure I'll snowboard on my next excursion in March. Mainly because I never felt like my life was in danger each and every time I went on a hill.

Brown..out!

Increasing my wealth

2009-01-05T11:27:00.006-06:00

That's one of my goals for 2009, to eliminate some debt. Which is ironic since I picked up a truck note in 2008, but anyway..now that I'm done with school it's gonna be time to payback those student loans. Which I was initially gonna defer and defer and defer again, but why put off the inevitable and let the interest rate continue to compound the debt even higher.

Denial is only a river in Egypt.

I really don't have any "serious" unsecured debt, but debt is debt any way you slice it. My 2 credit cards, total about $900 and my gas card, which I use like it's going out of style has a little more than $1200 that needs to be paid off. Then there's the truck, which should be paid off next year, the mortgage, which has no visible light at the end of the tunnel on that one and the $30K+ in student loans. Wow, saying the number out loud makes me nervous. I hate big debt. Probably the reason I buy 90% of the big ticket things I have with cash. Debt is like a monkey on your back. A raging, rabies having monkey that is trying to gouge your eyes out, or maybe that is a description of debt collectors, hey I'm digressing. The only way to get rid of this monkey is by paying it to go away. I live a fairly modest lifestyle by my standards, ask others and they say I'm living the high life. By no means do I feel like I'm drowing in debt or that my lifestyle has been hampered because of my debt, if anything I have been too 'comfortable' with having debt.

I had a recent eye opening scare involving some debt I acquired in my dumb years. I say dumb years because had I known better, you can best believe the kid would have done better. I'm not completely out of the woods with this REOPS but it has made me take a longer look at my financial situation. I like the roof over my head and I like making payments on time to my other obligations. I like the secure feeling of having disposal income and money in my savings account in case something happens. However, I'm in no position to pay what the credit collector had suggested as a settlement, in fact, I laughed when she said that number. I've been doing some research and it looks like the law in this instance is on my side and the debt my go away, we'll see as this evolves.

I said all that to say that I'm not gonna run from this student loan or the other unsecured debt that I have. I just need a new mind set. I need to realize that paying down debt is a wealth building tool. Debt - especially credit card debt - isn’t money that I have. It’s a loan against my future income. Paying down debt to me is now gonna be looked at as increasing my wealth, doesn't that just sound so much better than anything involving the word debt, unless its followed by the word free.

Brown..out!

Life..

2008-12-15T13:57:00.004-06:00

Today has been such a whirlwind of a day. I found out that I won't be offered the position at a University that I interviewed with. This was actually kind of a relief because they made the decision for me. I had been toggling back and forth on what I would do had I been their choice. I have a good job, I don't LOVE my job and I don't HATE coming to it either, so I applied just to see what would happen. 6hrs of an interview, 4 thank you letters, and 2 weeks of waiting later, they let me know that they decided to go with the other candidate that they interviewed. They were impressed with me, praised my strong credentials, and only brought in me and the other person to interview for the position which had been open since June. Even though I wasn't sure what was going to happen with this position, I am somewhat disappointed that I didn't get to make the choice to say yes or no. I was fascinated with the possibilities of the opportunities that would come but at the same time reserved because I have my own business plans for my life. I'm realizing that I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I guess owning and operating a consulting firm and a non-profit organization didn't raise red flags for me..ha ha My life tends to run around my job(s) maybe this door closing was God's way of telling me to be patient where I am..

Sadly today I was informed that one of my good friends that I went to LSU with died yesterday. She was running in the Dallas Marathon collapsed, went into cardiac arrest and was later pronounced dead. http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/6164680.html

Erin was married and is 29 years old. Today my mind has been remembering all of the fun times I had with her while we were at LSU. We were friends and we were sisters bonded through music. She was super funny man. Always had a smile on her face, full of joy and laughter and life. I was so not prepared to hear that she died, not that we're ever prepared to hear of someone dying, but she had run marathons before, had been doing everything "right", working with a trainer, running coach, nutritionist the whole 9..I've never had a good friend die. I'm not good at emotions and this kinda stuff, today has been so surreal, like seriously, dead, gone. This is one of those things in life that I don't think I'll ever understand. I do know that God is still God and He is still in control. Erin was truly a blessing to me and my life and I know for sure that there are countless others who can say the same. I praise God for Erins life and for the joy that she brought into mine.

Also today I got word from one of my bffs that her daughter Alysha (I've mentioned her before) who has been battling Cancer, body has accepted her cells. She's been going through her last rounds of Chemo and had a bone marrow transplant. Her system accepting her cells is GREAT news!! Her ANC is 900 and when they get to 2000 they get to leave St. Jude in Memphis and finish out treatments at the Ronald McDonald House. She is essentially in remission and can get back to a "normal" life for a 6 year old. Praise God for her healing and her life, through all of this she has been so strong. The last few weeks have been super hard on her and on my friend. I'm thankful that things are starting to turn around.

At one end of the spectrum life was taken so sudden and at the other end Alysha has been fighting for her for months, and there was a time where doctors didn't think she would make it. Life is so short and not promised to any of us, but at the end of the day, God has a plan for us all and He knows why things happen even when we can't grasp it.

Please keep Erin Krielow Lahrs husband Jeff and her parents and brother in your prayers.

Brown...out!

Randomly speaking

2008-12-11T17:05:00.001-06:00

I've been incognegro around this joint lately. Not by choice believe me! I just have so much on my plate right now that I'm thinking of going on a fast, ha ha..anyway, so I'll just ramble on and we'll see what comes out on the page. Buckle up folks, I have a feeling this is going to be a ~~random~~ wild ride!

After my last post here I actually took the words I was writing to heart and have been grinding and doing some grassroots efforts to get business #2 up and running. That's right blogland, I'm expanding and going into another area of business. Business #2 is a non-profit organization The Catalyst Foundation of Louisiana.

It's an organization that donates instruments and other financial resources to music programs nationwide to students/educators that have access to a music curriculum but lack the resources and support base to adequately keep up with equipment loss due to attrition, depreciation and wear over time. Music has always been big part of my life and most people are ~~dumbfounded~~ shocked to find out that I have a music degree. While I don't have the passion to teach music full time it doesn't mean that I don't have the passion to keep the performing arts alive. Some of my best memories and friendships were forged because of "band"...at any rate, getting this organization operational has been taking up ~~a lot a lot a lot~~ time that I probably would be ~~wasting anyway~~ doing something less productive, so..if you're interested in hearing more info about the organization or would like to donate an instrument or financial resources contact me, tcfofla@hotmail.com Please feel free to pimp the info about this organization and pass it around. I'm always looking for philantrophists who want to give or even contacts in education who could use our assistance.

Thanksgiving was at my house here in the boot this year. That was quite interesting and LOUD..all of my immediate family from TX came into town as did some of my aunts/grandma/cousins from Mississippi were there as well. My mom apparently does know me a little bit since she came bearing all of this.

Of course she had ever reason to bring half of her kitchen because I don't have nearly as many pots as she does, and probably never will. They were here ~~way longer than I thought they would be~~ for a few days. We ate, we laughed, we slept, I cleaned..Here are a few pics of the kids

At this point, the kids were STARVING..lol

2 cousins in the middle, 2 neices on the outsides, and 1 nephew..

They were on lockdown in my backyard, cheering for the "fisherman" that was out there

My siblings having a wii good time.. lol

What else...ohhh how can I forget. This morning when I rose, this is what greeted me, in BATON ROUGE..

IT'S A SNEAUX DAY!!!!

The sneaux wasn't a big hit for Rocky

I took the liberty of working from home today because I know that folks around here have issues driving in the rain and didn't want to risk my life with them on the road driving so here I am warm and comfy on the couch dumping my head as things come into it. (lucky you!) Rocky has taken a moment to stop being all clingy and whiney and is curled up next to me invading my personal space. I like him sleeping even if it means I'm getting an extra burst of heat, geaux me! School is finally winding down..I'm like a week and half away from Graduation for THEE last time. It seems like I been working on getting this MBA FOREVER..Kenny Chesney said he wanted to know how forever feels, well, he should enroll in a MBA program, take classes part time and work 2.5 jobs full time, that will do the trick.

Alright folks, there's a glimpse into why I've been so lax on the writing as of late, snap!! My birthday is coming up soon, if you want to get me something I'm accepting rolls of stamps and names/addresses of people who will graciously make a donation to the above mentioned foundation. Oh, I also would accept a new desktop (tower, not monitor) and printer..lol

Here is what I got me!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRADUATION, CHRISTMAS TO ME!!

I've had a good year so I figure I may as well go out with a bang!! I've managed to keep this little gem as a secret for about a month and a few days, actually it's still a secret to many folks so shhhh, don't tell anyone. I plan to put a nice red bow on it and admire it on Christmas morning when its parked in my parents driveway. Alright, that's all folks, time to finish enjoying this sneaux day..

Brown..out!

Open letter

2008-10-30T22:00:00.002-05:00

*this blog was originally posted on 10.21.08**

Dear crappy week,

You know Mr. Week, after such a great weekend I had residue leftover for Monday and just knew it would be the start of a great week, but you had other plans. Monday was HORRIBLE. I'm STILL dealing with Monday and I'll be dealing with Monday for a while but I guess that wasn't good enough for you because today ohhhTUESDAY you saw fit that my crappy week would get worse by having me now dealing with becoming one with a Toyota Tundra. I almost wonder if I wouldn't have been DWTAB (driving while thinking about MONDAY) and some of the issues I had to deal with on TUESDAY (that would be today) I wouldn't be in this position.

While my love of SUVs and trucks have been more apparent lately, I was fine not being in the bed of a moving vehicle, well, I guess technically it wasn't moving when I became one with it.. Should I apologize for my renewed love of SUVs, nope, I think not! Have you been spying on my web surfing these days??? I only peeked at that Range Rover earlier, it's out of my budget! I am glad you were nice enough to not completely jack up Benzo and myself with the hood/grill taking the bulk of the impact..score one for German Engineering..and to make sure I found the day just that much more "humorous" you picked a target that I knew!! score one for you Mr. Crappy Week..Were you leading me on by letting me think it wasn't so bad since Mr. Officer didn't write me a citation? I can't trust you...

Please Mr. Week, can tomorrow and the rest of the week be better. I'm pretty sure I can't handle any more "surprises" of the crappy variety even though that's your specialty Nothing personal, but even my business has been affected by your craptastic endeavors, this week, you playing with my money, that ain't cool. All gloves will be off if you keep this up!

So Mr. Crap, please please let at least tomorrow be a better day. I'd hate to have to self medicate this weekend in my soon to have rental car looking for something shiny to make me feel better because of YOU. You know I'll do it too so don't test me!

Signed,
Looking forward to at least HuMp DaY...don't let me down

M.I.A. (and not to be confused w/cutie patootie Mia W.)

2008-10-30T11:35:00.003-05:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while, just been busy with life. My business has been continuing to take off and keep me swamped, which is great in the grand scheme of things but geez, I don't have much "free" time anymore but I know I've been M.I.A. in blogland but I know I'll have something posted in the next day or so. Matter of fact I just realized that I never moved a blog from the "other" blogspot to this one so I'll do that. Hope everyone has been doing well!

Brown..out!

See you at the crossroads..crossroads..

2008-10-13T11:59:00.003-05:00

On Sunday morning approximately 1:15am Appolleaux the Fish went to fish heaven. A modest ceremony was held in the bathroom of 2222H. No tears were shed as he was flushed down the bowl of the porecelin god. He lived a full life of 5 months and was most happy when a mirror was held up to the bowl and his tail fins flared up. (I'm trying not to laugh at my silly self) He is survived by 1 owner and 1 dog companion who could care less about his existence. You have fought the good fight and have finished your course..please take a moment of silence in rememberance

R.I.P. Appolleaux!

What happens in Vegas...

2008-10-07T11:17:00.004-05:00

Stays in Vegas..

Our hotel

Hoover Dam (AKA the home of Mega Tron)

The Bellagio HotelBlogging world I've been out of pocket on vacay to LAS VEGAS BABY!!! I actually unplugged from the world and didn't see the world wide web for like 4 or 5 days. I didn't think I would be able to do it and neither did any of my friends but I proved them and myself wrong. Here are a few pics from the weekend. I'll do a more inclusive blog about the trip when I have more time. Right now I'm playing catch up with work and the real world that doesn't include winner winner chicken dinner!

Brown...out!

Whooooooooooooooo..

2008-09-26T10:29:00.004-05:00

"lives in a pineapple under the sea!! SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS"

I've had my nephew Stan Man all week and he LOVES when Sponge Bob comes on TV, it is the cutest thing to watch!! He has a whole little "routine" that he does. I had to capture it on film as best I could. I know what Aunie will get him for Christmas!! Oh to be 22 months again! We've really been kicking it! Love the little man.

Brown...out!

More of the Gustavathon..

2008-09-03T01:04:00.004-05:00

I still don't have confirmation on whether or not there is power in my neighborhood since I've gotten conflicting reports. Courtney couldn't stop in today because BR was getting pounded by more bad weather and she wanted to stay out of it, couldn't fault her for that right? She has to pass by the area tomorrow and promised to go by then. A majority of the city is still without power and it will be a few days to weeks before everyone is up and running again.

For my LSU folks who read and know the campus here are a few pics that I came across.

This is outside of Lockett Hall

Debris and damage to the quad
National Guard at Tiger Stadium
N.G. Patrolling campus
Debris and damage outside of Tiger Stadium
More quad debris/damageA tree down near the "new' Graham Hall/Broussard Hall

LSU Lab school damaged

Roof of the Rec Center damaged

Debris/damage out front of the Union

It's weird seeing these pics of campus when just a few days ago I was on campus enjoying the things that make it unique enjoying the football game day atmosphere. I'm still on the outside looking in and hope to return home probably by the end of the week.

Brown..out!

The Winners Circle

2008-09-01T21:25:00.002-05:00

I SIT HERE AND WONDER...

I AM AT A VERY CONTENT STATE IN MY LIFE. I AM AS HAPPY AS I CAN BE. FOR THE PAST FEW MINUTES I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT...WHEN DID THIS ALL HAPPEN? AM I DREAMING? AND THEM I GET A PHONE CALL, OR A TEXT MESSAGE THAT LET ME KNOW THAT THIS IS SHEAR REALITY.

WHAT CARD DID I PLAY THAT HAS ME IN THE "WINNERS CIRCLE?" I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT. I AM STILL PLAYING WITH THE SAME HAND I WAS DEALT...DID SOMEONE COME ALONG AND CHANGE THE RULES OF THE GAME?

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO...HMMM?

I STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED ALL OF THE ASPECTS OF MY NEW FOUND HAPPINESS, AND I AM SURE THAT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY I MAY HAVE MISSED SOME FINE PRINT...BUT WHO CARES...I AM ENJOYING LIVING IN "THE NOW!!"

Gustav action...

2008-09-01T21:01:00.002-05:00

These were taken by a friend of mine. I'm sure my neighborhood doesn't look like this because there aren't any "real" trees near them but this is near the LSU campus (ie. MY JOB)

I'm also hearing that BR will be without power for maybe 4 days, which to me is 4 days too many. I'm gonna have my friend Courtney who is still in town to go by my house and check on it when she can tomorrow. I pray for a GOOD report!

Brown..out!

Gustav!

2008-08-31T18:59:00.003-05:00

For any of those wondering, I'm waiting out this storm in Houston right now. The drive in took FOREVER!!! although I wasn't in a hurry on the drive in and I knew it was going to take more than the normal 3.5-4hrs, this was indeed thee longest it's taken to me to get from Baton Rouge to Houston. I'm sure it was 8+ hours if not more. I probably would still be in Baton Rouge chillaxing but I'm off work for a few days so this is a mini-cation for me. I haven't been "home" since I don't remember, I guess July sometime so I'm here hanging with the family, will catch up with a few friends and probably a few clients, but Rocky, Apolleaux(the fish) and myself are safe and I don't anticipate there being any issues in my neighborhood so I'm going to say that my house will be safe (in Jesus name) when I return on Wed/Thurs as well.

Brown...out!

FREE!!!

2008-08-20T15:05:00.006-05:00

Dog.

House trained.

Playful.

Loving. I

talian shoe/panty eating dog.

Comes with updated shot records, box of toys, and food. Knows basic/intermediate commands. Has occasional humping issues when playing with other dogs.

Please contact me if interested. Pick up/Drop off arrangements can be made..don't let the cute face fool ya!

Brown..out!

Of course I would never give Rockstar away, but we're majorily beefing right now since he decided to eat up some shoes yesterday AND wake up at 3am..

Let there be light!

2008-08-20T10:56:00.001-05:00

So remember when I was telling you guys about my I need a man moment with my car the other day. Well I did make another trip to Auto.Zone in an attempt to ~~flirt my way~~ get a man to fix this tail light bulb issues since EYE apparently was not capable of doing it. Well that trip was a ~~collosal waste of time~~ bust because there was no MAN to help but the nice lady did ~~talk very condescending to me~~ give me a new set of bulbs and said try these. Well I tried those and to no avail the error message was still there. So yesterday I drove ~~in a monsoon~~ happily to the MBZ dealership and had this very nice ~~handsome FINE married guy~~ service support specialist work his magic on the Kompressor. I even had time to ~~sneak some pics of him~~ capture the moment on film.

He has the same look on his face that I did when I was listening to my dad talk about the 2 prong thingys inside the bulb.

He even had to go to the right side! A HA! not just moi! but his reason for going was because most of the bulbs were out of place because of MOI..doh! This is him on the right side..

Alas, he's putting it all back together..

So the answer to my initial question of how many people does it take to change a light bulb,the answer is ONE skillfully trained MBZ service technician.

Brown..out!

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

2008-08-15T17:11:00.001-05:00

I'm still trying to figure that number out, but apparently it isn't one-ME. So my "smart" car tells me that my tail light L is out and the substitute light is on, I had been riding around with those 2 error messages for longer than I care to admit so after I cleaned the Benzo I mosied on over to Autozone told them what I needed based on what my car told me "it" needed got home, popped the "old" bulb out and put the new one, cranked the car and had the same 2 error messages..L tail light out/subsitute light on... hmmm, I go and retrieve the manual just to be sure I'm changing the correct bulb, according to the picture (ya'll know I don't actually read the instructions right???) I had the correct one..and in my geniousosity (zip it I can make up words) I opened the cover of the R lights to make sure I am doing the right thing, one thing leads to another and somehow the R lights get into the mix of bulbs now in the trunk of my car. After inserting all bulbs except the one that was changed and the "bad" one I crank the car back and now have 7 error messages and only one brake light coming on...lol..

At that point I call my dad in Texas.

Me: Daddy, I'm having a car problem, more specifically a light bulb problem.
Him: *giggles* so are the light bulbs different in a Mercedez than any other car?
Me: No, but all I did was take the old one out, put the new one in, crank the car and was getting the same message. Oh yea, I also (insert story of messing up the right side too)
Him: why did you mess with the right side?
Me: sounded like a good idea in my head

He thought maybe it was a fuse but all of the other lights (headlights, inside lights etc) were working so that cancelled that. He instructed me to put the new bulb back in and low and behold it lights up BUT smokes in the process! Da hell?? I tell him its smoking, he says remove it..I had beat him to the punch, I at least had the smarts to do that. He started talking in "man" talk about the little prong thingy's inside the bulb and I'd hold it up and tilt my head like a lost puppy..Long story short, we go through a few processes of switching bulbs and eventually I get back to where I started 2 error messages and both brake lights working. I told him that I was going to just go back to Autozone and let one of the guys figure it out. My ego was a little bruised I'm not going to lie, I mean, its a freaking light bulb and I'm a self proclaimed nerd! When I leave Autozone today I'll tell you how many people it takes to change the light bulb!

Brown...out!

Dog days of summer..(photoblog)

2008-08-15T15:06:00.003-05:00

We had been getting so much rain in the afternoons lately that I hadn't been able to take Rocky to the dog park in a while but we made the trip yesterday, here are a few pics of Rockstar and some of the other doggies out enjoying the nice weather we had. The photo quality isn't that great because I was taking the pictures with my phone.

He's never met a "stranger"...kinda like ME!

He was getting a little tired here in the pic below..I felt sorry for the other dog in this pic because she was randomly "attacked" shortly after I took this pic! She was only frightened and not really hurt by the incident. Let one of them dogs come at Rocky, it's gonna be on and poppin at the park..

Uh oh...time to go..my little humper!

All in all it was a good trip..I'm never surprised anymore at the humping, at least this time it was a dog his own size and not the bull mastif or the golden retriever.

Brown out...

I'm Black, I'm conservative....GET USED(OVER) TO IT...

2008-08-14T10:24:00.002-05:00

Lately I've been getting a lot of questions regarding my political beliefs and why I align myself as a Black person with the Repbulican party. This article here--------> Political alliance sums up why my alliance at this point in my life is what it is. I'm actually fed up with both sides right now but that's neither here nor there. I'm a Black Conservative with republican ties, point blank...I hadn't always been on "this" side, because believe me there is a huge dividing line when it comes to blacks being conservative and/or republican, the more I educate myself politically as well as mature as a Christian the more I relate to the conservative views that tend to be republican.

I'm not ashamed of what I believe in and I'll let it be known, for the most part its no secret anyway, just talk to me for any amount of time and you'll make your own judgement and come to the conclusion that I'm a conservative. Key parts of that article that stood out to me and put into words better than I could regarding my stances on some issues.

"For many Black conservatives, in their own point of view, the key mission is to bring repair to the Black community by applying fundamental principles that are known to work regardless of the race of the people who choose to apply them. Their fundamental principles are: the pursuit of educational excellence as a means of assention within the society; policies that promote safety and security in the community beyond the typical casting of a criminal as a "victim" of societal racism; and local economic development rather than looking toward the federal government for assistance."

"Black Conservatism is a political and social movement within African American culture that aligns largely with the American Right, emphasizing patriotism, independence and self-help, free markets and within some circles Christian Right values. Contemporary black conservatives find common ground with American conservatives of other races,"

"A fundamental breaking point between the Black Liberal and the Black Conservative is focused around the balance between a perception of the impact that historical slavery and oppression has on Black people living today versus the power and consequences of personal choices that a person makes in determining his ultimate fate. The Black conservative is more inclined to advance the notion that individual choices toward success and a commitment toward changing one's individual behavior will allow the individual to advance in society with respect to the rights that Blacks have been afforded due to the Civil Rights Movement. "

Those are just a few snipets of what that article says. Love it or hate it and if you talk to me long enough I'm sure I can at least allow you to see why I believe in what I believe. And of course because of my political stance on some issues as a Black conservative, we're typically considred "sellouts".

Speaking out against racism: Rightly or wrongly, Black conservatives are often seen as defenders of, and apologists for White racism. The perceived Black conservatives failure to respond forcefully enough to White racism only feeds the suspicion that they have essentially declared racism a thing of the past, that it no longer has urgency. The perception of giving aid and comfort to racist views makes it difficult for Black conservatives to make inroads into Black communities.

Minimum Wage and Living Wage: The opposition of some conservative blacks to raising the minimum wage and rejection of living wage proposals across the country puts them squarely at odds with many Blacks. Many Blacks do not typically accept the defense that these regulations stifle business profitability and undermine job creation.

Perceived anti-affirmative action stance: Black liberals view the current anti-affirmative action stance of some Black conservatives as evidence that the Black conservative role within the GOP is to carry out a perceived agenda dictated by White conservatives.

Perceived incompatibility with the African Americans' struggle for equality: Former black Republican representative J.C. Watts' father's statement "A black person voting Republican makes about as much sense as a 'chicken voting for Colonel Sanders" captures the sentiment of many Blacks.

Difference in Political Persuasion: Many liberal and/or moderate commentators have noted that the political views of most African Americans simply differ greatly from those of Republicans/Conservatives. These include: Reparations (to both blacks and Native Americans), Educations-Vouchers, Social programs, Government role in providing Healthcare, perceived problems in the Criminal Justice system, etc.

Assimilation to Western "White" values and culture: In a response to a reader who questioned a link to a White separatist blog placed in her posted essay titled "The Weakening West" (5-28-2006), black conservative blogger La Shawn Barber stated in her reply; "Unlike most blacks, I don't consider "white nationalist" a horrific idea. Few blacks have a problem with black nationalists, and all sorts of black groups get together for purposes of benefited their race.

There's too much hypocrisy and not enough critical thinking going on for my taste. This is why I don't get along with black liberals. We start from different premises. I'm not afraid of, threatened, or incensed by ideas like white nationalism."

The white man is not out to get all black people...come on people, get real! If anything more black people are out to do harm to other black people, but hey, that's a whole nother blog..

**stepping down from political soap box**

Brown...out!

Russia invades Georgia

2008-08-11T22:19:00.001-05:00

...and we have troops there. http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSL1556589920080715?feedType=RSS&feedName=topNews

And...erra...Russia knows: http://english.pravda.ru/

What's really going on??? Wondering if I should be more fearful of Russia..

Brown..out!

(blog pimped from monicamingo)

Bernie Mac has died

2008-08-09T17:44:00.002-05:00

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/09/reports-comedian-bernie-mac-is-dead/

RIP Bernie Mac! My prayers go out to his family...

Brown..out!

Things that are on that BS...

2008-08-07T16:26:00.002-05:00

Since I'm in a fairly snarky mood today I felt like this would be a good time to write this.

Today's "things" that are on that BS include but are not limited too:

that snack machine downstairs..had I had my camera or phone with me I would have taken a picture so ya'll can see the ridiculousness of the prices of the "snacks"..I ain't bout to pay $0.95 for 1/2 a bag of air!
this "power chain" on my bottom teeth. Like OMG, this rubber band hurts worst than when I first got these braces. I should've know with the name "power chain" it was gonna be on some BS..
people that don't signal. I'm telling ya they be on some SERIOUS BS!! and then get mad when you look at em like they crazy after they've almost swiped the front end of your car! or they look at you crazy when they pass b/c you didn't let em in..hello, use your signal
B(lack)E(mbarassing) T(elevision)..I still don't know who is watching this channel that is keeping them on the air..
People that send me messages about my blogs but don't comment. Ya'll on that BS! I'm not going to censor what you say, if you have an issue or if you agree with something I've written, it's ok to leave a comment. I welcome comments! I also welcome kudos *hint hint*
Courtney!! she goes to the beach every freaking week!! she on that BS! and I'm seeing green with envy but that's not the point...
WW for not doing that evaluation and it's been MONTHS...come on WW get it together for the sake of your star employee who will one day be (back)on Team Brown!
My mom be on it sometimes. MY name is thee only one on the mortgage papers of 2222H. She's been pretty cool lately though. I think it's because she got to spend time with me over the weekend, but she calls EVERYDAY so I don't know..
I'm obviously on it today, I haven't been the star employee that I usually am and have been playing around way too much today. I think my conscience just kicked it..I'm gonna go be productive plus I have a meeting in like 10min.

Ya'll got any "things" that are on that BS for you at the moment?
Brown...out!

When animals attack...(white people)

2008-08-07T13:20:00.003-05:00

I'm not racist.. but...(don't you love that opening statement) what is it with white people and wild animals and their need to "befriend" them. Like seriously, what is the deal??? Because I love all things Discovery Channel and Animal Planet I often find myself engulfed in their shows and as of late the line up has been when animals attack or animals gone wild..

What is going through one's mind when they climb into the den of 2 angry lions armed with "sticks"..inching closer, and closer and closer until said lion rises up, shows those oh so sharp teeth and growls?? Apparently "Good girl" does. Yes, the guy said "good girl" that she didn't attack them, only gave them a warning. So what does this fool do...runs out of harms way and does it all over again whilst saying, "this time we'll get closer and see what happens"...needless to say the lion came at his dumb self and attacked!

Another one that stuck out to me was the dude who was "living" with the bears.

This guy had named the bears and everything. Apparently he had been doing this for years, taking photographs of them and allowing them to get "used" to him being in their environment. Short story shorter...some bear attacked him and of course they killed the bear and even though they found pieces of dude inside the bear they don't know if 'it' was the only bear that attacked.

I must say I did feel sorry for one lady on the show. They were in Pamplona, Spain at the Running of the bulls and this one lady was getting tossed around like a little rag doll..bull would hoist her up and sling her around, hoist her up again and slam her into the wall....it was quite tragic to watch actually, but at the same time I was like, why were you out there in the first place! and of course, the bull was killed..*sigh*

I kinda feel sorry for the animals because they're often provoked by (white) people who invade their natural habitat for the sake of closer observations or some other adreneline induced, fearless needing moment. Come on, ya'll know you've never seen a black man/woman all up in the cage with some tigers, it's always white people and they wonder why they're attacked when they are laid up in the hospital room giving National Geographic or Discovery Channel an interview.

Stop doing stupid stuff and the animals will stop attacking (white people) hmm...but then what will I watch..

Brown....out!

Weakest link..

2008-08-06T23:25:00.004-05:00

So I finally ~~was a bit~~ blew my fuse with the person that wouldn't stop ~~stalking~~ hasseling me about our friendship. I just couldn't take it anymore. When I first got to this point I was cordial and used words that I thought were appropriate, but to the point, words that didn't make me seem like I was ~~cold hearted~~ a jerk or them like ~~the loser they are~~ it was their "fault"..one of those, it's not me, it's you situations, but in reality it was ALL THEM and I was willing to come off as the bad person and not call them out completely about why I'm chosing to terminate the "friendship." Not that I have to explain my own actions or why I'm chosing to do something, but to them, they just wouldn't let it go and just had to know. Well, bad move on their part because I was brutually honest and frank about them and the situation. If you're a 'regular' reader of my blogs I've made mention of this person here and here too but you can best believe this is THEE last blog about this situation. Well because I got tired of my phone ringing, I answered and the conversation went something like this:

Them: I dont understand why we can't be friends, did you just wake up one day and decide that
Me: Yes.
Them: but something something something(I wasn't paying attention, I was watching Saving Grace)
Me: are you done? I don't have anything else to say and I've told you to stop calling me
Them: If you were (insert their town name here) you wouldn't even tell me huh
Me: did you get a call from me (insert last time I WAS in their town) which was recent?
Them:*silence*
Me: well, there's your answer.
Me: You're like a leech and you try and suck the life out of me. You are a constant reminder of a bad judgement call on my part for even entertaining the association in the first place, who wants to be constantly reminded of mistakes. We were never that cool to begin with, get over it and move on with your life..I haven't given you a thought in months and its usually not until I see "do not answer" on my caller ID then I roll my eyes and say why is ___ still calling my ~~damn~~ phone.
Them: *silent*
Me: STOP CALLING ME, STOP IMING ME, LEAVE ME ALONE..like seriously, this is THEE last time you're going to hear my voice. I don't care what is going on with your job, your ~~loser ass~~ family and friends, or with you for that matter..I DO NOT CARE
Them: so you're saying you need some space
Me: Have a good life ~~you whiny clingy bi~~...*click*

I know I know, say it ain't so!! That reads like I am a bi super mean person!! and in all honesty it was mean, but they didn't take the hint months ago when I was down to earth and amicable about the situation. I'm not gonna lie I did feel a little bad when I hung up the phone...but it was a fleeting feeling. For the life of me I don't understand WHY??? they feel the need for us to be super cool. The way they're acting you'd think we were having relations, it ain't even close to that... I would hate to see how it would be if I were a real friend when we were cool so what in the heehaw do they want from me??? I never misrepresented what level of association we had. If I call, I call, if I don't I don't. I was honest about my ~~shady~~ tendencies with people, they knew that I keep a lot of my personal life to myself and I'd probably never share any of it with them. They knew that I can only take so much whining from adults who have the ability to change their situations. They knew all that from jump, so, when I got to the point where I was tired of them draining me with their own whiney issues and other drama filled moments, I withdrew. It was really easy because there was no kinda emotional or personal attachment for me. Then I finally removed myself from the equation and told them that I'm not the person they want me to be and it went downhill ~~for them~~ from there. EYE know I'm cool but damn....it really aint that serious...

I can say today that I sincerely wish them the best and that I shouldn't have went that route with them because that's not how I handle situations. I like to keep a cool head and not let anger get the best of me. I'm way too level headed and grounded to essentially verbally abuse another adult but I now think they got the picture that I was serious. Needy, clingly people scare me..I don't want to come home to 2222H and somebody be all in my bushes...

You are the weakest link...goodbye!

Brown..out!

Boss lady..

2008-08-06T23:17:00.002-05:00

I got mind control over ~~Deebo~~..my boss.

He be like "do this, do that."

I do it.

But when he leave, I start checking blogs again.

Where there's a will there's a way!! We were recently notified that everyone's internet usuage is now being monitored due to a high use of bandwith or something like that, well, since I'm a tech nerd, scratch that, GENIUS..I of course have a way around the system...Can't hold me down!!

Boss lady..out!

Peer pressure is a...

2008-08-04T23:36:00.003-05:00

Change that age to 25 31 and that is ME!! Like seriously, I've written blogs that read "pro" Obama and I've written blogs that are "anti" Obama but that's how I am. I'm an equal opportunist and don't show my "hand" so to speak. Just because I write what may seem ~~as though I'm able to think for myself~~ against the grain I get reemed and heckled and ~~blacklisted~~ ostracized by some folks. I would think that at this point that most folks would know by now that I'm not a sheep and just because it's the "popular" thing to do doesn't mean that I'm doing it, especially when it comes to politics. Around some message boards and blogs that I visit, it's ~~black~~ Obama or nothing. Either you're with them or against ~~the entire race~~ them...either they're voting for Obama or not voting at all! Really is politics really that black and white?? (no pun intended) That's a rhetorical question because I already know that its not and is it really THAT serious?? I know the answer to that too...that 'secret' just stuck out to me because I can relate to what the poster is saying...

I've had my share of ~~fun~~ life learning peer pressured or inducing peer pressure moments including those listed on the picture, but it's easy to get caught up in the rigamarole of this election and lose sight of what is important politcally, candidate stance wise, at least for me it is. I'm used to being the peer pressurer not the pressuree...Even though it's well known in my "circle" of friends that I'm a Republican I've never gotten "this" much pressure to conform. I guess because I have been seemingly on the fence about who I'm voting for they feel like I haven't decided who I'm voting for (but I have..)I know at the end of the day in November, there won't be any peer pressure on who I'll be casting my ballot for as I'm standing ALONE in that booth. I'll continue to do my own due diligence on the candidates, pray and cast my ballot..either way, change is a coming!

Brown..out!

I like to explore...and I like to build....

2008-07-31T23:50:00.003-05:00

So I took a personality test and this is what it had to say about MOI'! For the most part I really agree with it...I bolded things that really stood out to me about me...

Your major personality type = Explorer
Your minor personality type = Builder

You are an EXPLORER/builder

You have a great deal of vitality. You are curious, imaginative and resilient. And you find pleasure in doing and thinking about all sorts of things and ideas, often at the same time. You tend to be optimistic, seeing the world as a place of adventure. You seek first-hand experiences. And when you embark on a project or expedition, you like to be organized, thorough and responsible.

You are firmly grounded in reality and live in the here and now. You stand up for your beliefs. And you have a sympathetic and spiritual side that adds warmth and depth to your being. In spite of your search for novelty, you have a genuine respect for home, family, work and community. You are conscientious and dependable. Yet you occasionally surprise those whom you love with generous presents.

You generally enjoy life. You have a keen sense of humor. And because you are broad-minded, flexible and playful, you can be a wonderful friend.

I almost could have bolded this entire summation. I just found this really interesting. I haven't taken a personality test in a while, not since way back when I was looking for an adult job and floudering something big time. I don't know if that test helped me at all to find a job, but if I remember correct it did help me weed out careers I KNEW I wouldn't be very good in. This doesn't fit my career personality though, but I suppose all those tests have some connections, in the meantime I'll explore and build....something.

Brown...out!

Things that make me smile..(photoblog of sorts)

2008-07-18T12:07:00.009-05:00

Coming home everyday to 2222H! Even when I'm driving down my street in the whip I get all relaxed because I know that when I walk in the door Rocky will greet me and make me feel like I'm the most special person in the world and I've been sorely missed!Opening the fridge to see one of these makes me smile too..

Even though I'm not in Houston, I see/talk to my neices and nephews often and they spend time out here in the Big Raggedy with me on some weekends and holidays. Thinking of them always make me smile! Even when they're terrorizing me, my house and my dog they still make me smile. I love them little rug rats!

I have a great group of friends! Sometimes they know just what to say to make me want to choke them and sometimes they know just what to say that makes me keep them around a little while longer :) I love my friends. I don't always like my friends or get to be around them a lot because some of my closer ones don't live here, but I do love them.

I'm sure I could go on and on and post pic after pic of me and some of my friends. Another thing that makes me smile is ME!!

I know that I'm a constant work in progress and I know that I tend to be my own worst enemy and can have moments of hotmessness but I also have some moments of fabulousness!! I'm loyal to my friends and family and I love big! When I think about where I was and all the things I used to get into I smile. When I think about the heartache that I've gone through I can now smile. When I think about my future, I really smile. I'm my biggest cheerleader and if no one ever gives me a pat on the back or a thatta girl word of encouragement I'll still be able to keep my eyes on the prize and press on toward the mark. I smile when I think about the randomness of my brain and actions sometimes. I truly am a T-shirt and pearls girl. I smile at my personality. I'm not sure what my true purpose is in this lifetime but I do know that I have one and just living my life is purpose enough! I really had a really great week, I won't get into all of the logistics of why it was great for me but sometimes when I'm on, I'm really on and I try not to get caught up in the lows and highs of my life because sometimes it gets that way but I try and ride the wave of the situations and outcomes as they come.

This wouldn't be a true Angie blog without this gem that makes me smile and cry and curse and laugh and lose my ever living mind and have heart attacks

Everyone knows my passion for my alma mater. I <3>

Ismile thinking about the 'stick up kid'

I smile thinking about my friends kids. It's funny that some of my wildest friends have kids! Like they're responsible for someone else' life. They're all great parents too, but thinking about where they were and where they are now, makes me smile.

I smile thinking that my mom calls me every single day. No lie. She doesn't want anything 89.4% of the time and 5.3% of the time she wants me to do something related to enrolling her or checking her grade in school and the last 5.3% of the time she is asking me to travel somewhere with her or book her a trip somewhere. My mother is a trip!

I smile that as much as I love gadgets I have an obsession with post it notes. Ironic eh?

Speaking of gadgets...I'm smiling about the new Samsung Instinct.

I'm smiling thinking about my graduation/birthday/Christmas present to myself!!! (only 6hrs left!! Come on December!!)

and on that note...What makes YOU smile?

Brown...out!

A slick armed robbery...

2008-07-16T16:20:00.002-05:00

As I was drifting off into a ~~mentally draining induced~~ peaceful nights rest this was running through my head keeping me from getting into my good ~~drool~~ REM sleep mode. I don't know why or where it came from but it was keeping me up so I rolled over and put the thoughts out my head an into my phone. I wasn't about to get out of bed and turn the computer back on...

How can you put a value on the feel of our kiss?

What kind of price would you give such sanguine bliss?

Stolen glances across filled rooms

The aroma of you forever looms

Like a thief in the night

You stole pieces of my life

Unarmed robberies going unnoticed til it was much to late

Pricelessness of unplanned events had sealed our fate.

I don't know why I'm dreaming of poetry about being robbed, hell I don't know why I'm dreaming poetry PERIOD. I wonder if my subconsience is trying to tell me something about somebody or something or maybe I just had a lot going on yesterday and this is just another "thought" that has been trapped in my head and was it's way of freeing itself. Whatever the case is, I'm glad it wasn't an armed robbery :-)

Brown..out!

When I grow up...I wanna be a hero..

2008-07-14T20:08:00.006-05:00

but for now I'll just settle for a virtual hero...

I got a new game for the Wii and I been playing it like a crackhead. The music nerd in me is in heaven, I think that's what has me so "addicted" to this game. I have an acoustic guitar that I could pick up at anytime and make "real" music but I've chosen to go the Wii route and be a virtual guitar "hero" instead. I'm actually getting pretty good. I tried a few of the songs on "medium" and it's a lot harder than you think it would be or at least it was alot harder than I thought it would be for ME. I mean, after all I have some guitar coordination that should count in my favor right?Well, so far that coordination has helped me a little bit, but it's only because I've been rocking out to the "easy" version of the songs with a few tries at some of them at the "medium" skill level. I think if I stick with medium it will either piss me off that I'm not getting good fast enough and I stop, or I'll get good enough fast and still stop because I've lost interest..but for now..I'll play some Poison

some Social Distortion, some Foghat (<------never heard of them before this game) and keep my "youth" in tact and dream about being a hero..Guitar one that is!

Rock on!!! looool...

Brown..out!

Did that answer really come out of my mouth???

2008-07-09T15:32:00.009-05:00

My answer to this question that is.. This was posted on a blog I frequent "So now that I am starting my day off on a positive note, tell me one random thing you are thankful for?"

ME: "I’m thankful that I’m single, even though there are moments I absolutely HATE being single but I know I couldn’t do 1/2 the things I’m doing now if I had a serious relationship or kids right now."

I just went back to that blog to see if anything new had been posted because I'm killing time at work at the moment and saw my response and it made me think...I really believe that answer to be true but I just can't believe I put it out there and out of my head! Seeing it makes it more real to me...anyway...that was this morning and this afternoon this happened...

I had this conversation with someone that I basically shut out of my life for a while because I was just tired of them and the drama....I haven't talked to this person for months..I shouldn't have answered the IM **meanface** and kept ignoring them like I've been doing, but they actually made me think...

THEM: i have a question for you.... i hope you feel comfortable enough to share it with me....
Angie: you always have a question for me
THEM: i do... because you are so secluded....
THEM: you are an island....
Angie: whatever

I answered their question not with a response they were wanting I'm sure but the whole me being secluded and an island made me think. I hate to think (about me)...Am I secluded? Do I not let people in? Really an island? As in this??

look how lonely it looks all around that water... lol

is·land ..

–noun
1. a tract of land completely surrounded by water, and not large enough to be called a continent.
2. something resembling an island, esp. in being isolated or having little or no direct communication with others.
7. an isolated hill.
–verb (used with object)
10. to make into an island.
12. to place on an island; isolate.

I'm really sitting here thinking whether or not I create island-like relationships. I'm almost 100% sure that I do. Mostly because I don't want everyone I associate with all in my business and sometimes I just don't like people. I'm a great people person in general, can work a room/crowd, meet folks, etc etc but when it comes to friendships/relationships, I guess it just takes me a while to open up to the real me, but who isn't like that? I know that's not unique to me...but then I think about how I am with my bestfriends and I have been guilty of creating island like moments with them. I know I don't have to be cast away to realize the things that I do but I disagree that I'm an island. I have island like tendencies sometimes but definitely NOT an island...

Wonder if those 2 things are coincidental...at any rate.

**back on ignore this person goes**

Brown...out!

Weekend wrap up with a lil lagniappe..

2008-07-07T13:25:00.000-05:00

Since I'm not focused on working I may has well blog. I had a pretty good 4th weekend. Some of my family was in town which saved me from driving to Houston, although I don't think I was really going to go 'home.' I was ready to lay low and chill, but my mom and all the kids came down. We spent Friday in Natchez visiting with my grandma, cousins, aunts and uncles. It was so funny watching my nieces and nephews play in the 'country' they were playing in the dirt like they've never played in dirt before. I think they really enjoyed just being around the cousins their age and just playing. Even lil Stan man was getting in on the action. For him to be 19 months that lil boy tries his best to keep up with the older kids and for the most part he holds his own with them. I think that is thee cutest thing! They spent a few days in Natchez then came to my house and terrorized me and Rocky. I can't tell you the last time my house has been THAT loud. I'm just not used to that much activity going around in every room of the house, and repeatedly hearing "Aunie can I" or "Aunie so and so did this or that"..I love, love, love, love all 4 of them but I'm glad they're gone home! I don't know if kids are in my future or not but man, each time I spend long periods of time with my nieces and nephews I'm more thankful that I don't have any right now. They are truly a handful.

Work is work..I've become visible apparently and have been putting out fires left and right and creating some in the process. I guess the timing of my visibility is "perfect" because I was seriously considering exploring my options. I like being hands on and up in the mix of things and for the longest I've been on the sidelines with the occassional visit to the hospitals. I WANT IN THE GAME! I was never good at being a 6th man or a non-starter. Now I'll cheer when I'm not in the game, but I KNOW that at some point i'll be back on the court/field and having an impact on the outcome of the game. I'm such a sports nerd w/that analogy..anyway..I like being in the mix and seeing that my work is making a difference. I like flexing my brain power from time to time and the last few weeks I've been able to do that. For someone like me that makes a difference in whether or not I'm 'satisifed' with my job. I can make all the money in the world but if I'm bored, I'll take a paycut if need be to find something that is stimulating. My mom hates to hear me say that, but sometimes it's really not about the money.

I wore my glasses yesterday. I NEVER or should I say RARELY wear my glasses. More specifically I wore them out in public **gasp** Yep, me, glasses and braces!!! My mom even said something about not seeing me in glasses in a long time. I don't know why I don't wear them much, they're a nice frame and I think I look cute in them. A bit nerdy with the braces, but cute nonetheless.

Anyway, I'm through rambling, this kinda helped my lack of focus but not really. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the issue of how it's possible to miss something that wasn't "really" mine in the first place..but that's for another blog (maybe)

How was your 4th?

Brown...out!

Miss Independent...

2008-07-02T22:25:00.002-05:00

I totally had an "I need a man" moment today. After a long day of being a firefighter at work and dealing with issues that I hope to get resolved at some point I came home and decided that I needed to mow the backyard. I had already mowed the front lawn earlier this week, after all that's the part that 'everybody' can see and I was too tired to do the back as well that same day. Last month I got a new lawn mower but had yet to put it to use, that was until today and let me tell you it was quite an experience. I was pretty excited about this new purchase because it had a BAG attached to it, yep, that was the selling point for me oh, and it's pretty. All green and yellow, like John Deere mowers, I'm digressing. I had yet to use this new mower because the old mower still had gas in it and I figured I would use that mower until the gas was gone and then start using the new one, well that day was today...Well, I was ready to put this new mower to use and needed to attach the bag to the machine so what do I do? Naturally I do what I always do, look for a picture of what it's supposed to look like and try and figure it out from there I must have looked pretty perplexed sitting on the floor of my garage, manual in hand because my neighbor came into my yard and basically took over for me. I had been sitting there a good 20 minutes flipping pages, looking at the pieces, flipping pages and looking at the pieces again...

Him: "So what do you have here"

Me: holding up random lawn mower parts "getting ready to mow the backyard"

Him: takes random parts from my hands and in less than 30 seconds have EVERYTHING where it's supposed to be

Me: "I was close"

At least I knew where the gas and oil contents needed to go.. So mower is all set to go and I pull the string. Nothing. I reach down and pull again. Nothing. Damn, now what! There was a 'random' part that I thought was extra not attached so I fool around with that part and of course its the part that is used to start the mower. Bam, attach that part and push the mower and realize its WAAAAAY to low (as it cuts down to the root of the grass ), all the while I'm thinking, this is so man work! I make the height adjustments and go on my merry way. I didn't even bring out the weedeater, by the end I was too tired to even do that.

I consider myself fairly 'handy' for the most part and didn't think I would have a problem attaching the grass bag to the mower because it looked pretty simple, but I was very thankful to have the neighbor man rescue this damsel in distress. My normal 'man help friend' is currently serving in Afghanistan and is out of commission for at least 13 more months. **sigh** what is a girl to do! I'm not usually one to admit defeat but man, I was really glad that he saw how helpless I was on my garage floor fooling around with that lawn mower. I almost called my dad to see if he could talk me through it but I could hear that conversation.."so I have this thingy that is supposed to go somewhere" and him saying, just leave it alone and I'll be in town >insert date here< I don't think I'll have anymore 'manly' things that I'll need done around the house for a while..don't know if my 'ego' is bruised because I couldn't figure it out or I just don't like the feeling of the damsel in distress either way, my backyard (ie Rocky's playland) is less jungle like and more homeowners association friendly..

Brown..out

Chicago...MY kinda town..

2008-06-24T10:14:00.003-05:00

Back to the Windy City I go. I like visiting Chicago, no way I'd ever live there though. It's a great town, with many activities, great sporting events, well, good sporting events..lol, great museums and festivals, my friends there are cool, but uh, I don't do snow for months at a time. NO way jose'! I'll be there for a few days later this week to attend a Bridal Shower and a baby shower and no, it's not for the same person Hey, it happens that way so I'm not wrong to clarify..The "Taste of Chicago" will be going on this weekend so I think we're going to take in some of that which is kinda cool. I haven't been to a big festival in such a long time. I hope the weather holds up and it doesn't rain. There really isn't a big agenda for the weekend with the exception of the 2 showers, one of which I still need to get a gift and both of which I need to find outfits..ugh..why didn't I do this earlier?? oh yea, because I've met ME...

I was semi-confused with the Bridal shower because her invite had her wedding registry on it but I always thought that for Bridal showers you did something a little more "fun" if you know what I mean. This particular bride isn't the lingerie to bed type but maybe if other bought it she would wear it, maybe, I don't know. I just don't want to show up with some fine china or something when I should've had some edible panties I think I may just get something off the registry for etiquette purposes and then a 'fun' gift for just in case purposes. The bride is a hoot! so whatever she gets she's going to enjoy I'm sure. The baby shower is much easier to shop for, I mean it's a new mom/dad and they need everything, so anything off the registry is good.

I think I love registries. Well the non-shopper in me loves registries, just tell me what you want, saves me and you time and energy. I go into the store, pick something up, pay and leave instead of going into the store, thinking about whether or not you'd actually like the gift or whether you'd return it. The next best thing to a registry is GIFT CARDS! I know they're just so impersonable, but oh so convenient for ME. I'm a convenience whore.. did I just say that ...anyway, I'm looking forward to the Windy City, getting away for a few days. I almost forgot about fishy too! This is my first trip out of town since I got him. I was wondering if I could just leave him for 4 days or so and if he'd still live. Probably not and since I like this fish and the person who gave me said fish, I've made arrangements for a fish sitter. Live on fishy, live on! Aight, I need to be a lil more productive than I have been thus far as the jizzob.

Brown, out!

Question...

2008-06-23T10:56:00.000-05:00

That is all. :-)

Relax, it's just my life...

2008-06-22T23:20:00.002-05:00

It's just not that serious. That's what I tell myself when I'm convincing myself to get over something. It's just not that serious. That often does the trick because in reality it really isn't that serious. Like, my life really isn't in shambles, I don't need to be in therapy (again), I did need to delete a few folks from MYspace who were only here for their own purposes and agendas, I do need to stop making things out to be so serious when in reality, they're not. I don't know why I get like this every few months. I get all nostaglic and reflective and end up derailing myself for nothing because at the end of the day I always come to the conclusion that, nothing is wrong and that I need to chill out and stop making mountains out of mole hills. Not having all of the answers is not going to be the end of the world, if anything having answers will make matters worse because I'd be trying to be sure that I was on the right track and stressing about doing this or that to get there.

I however didn't make up the weird place, it was weird and I was hanging in limbo letting my own thoughts get the best of me. Even though the outcome wasn't the best and saddens me a bit, it surely isn't the worst case scenario and I understand the why behind it all. I'm more relieved to 'know' in this case what the deal is because it gets me out of my own head. Living in my head is worse than the outcome, I am my own worst mental enemy, that I do know.

Anyway, my note to self after many looks in the mirror and seeing my reflection is that it's really just not that serious. Relax, it's just my life. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Brown...out!

(and when I'm having a meltdown in 3 months just remind me of this blog)

She's come undone....(almost)

2008-06-19T12:01:00.002-05:00

My thoughts are ~~driving me crazy~~ consuming me...thoughts of the future, the unknown, the what ifs, how to make 'this' work, how 'this' might not work, what if 'this' is working and it's just at a weird place right now, should I do something or just let the 'weird place' run its course, am I making up this 'weird place' and things are actually fine..is this job really for me, will I ever be finished with school??? Even when I'm sleeping I'm thinking and when I wake up I'm thinking. When I really need to be ~~working or doing homework~~ thinking my 'other' thoughts are getting in the way. I wish I could turn my brain off and just not think about EVERYTHING...I keep saying, one day at a time, one situation at a time, one moment at at time but I can't help but look forward and not so much try to predict the future but to just be in the know to attempt to get a handle on everything and have an idea of how I'm going to come out to the other side with my mental/emotional self still in tact.

It feels like I'm holding on with the help of some duct tape, like the wheels are about to come off...all together yet so unwound, the chaos of my mind is to the point of overflowing. I sound like I'm stressed but in my mind I'm really not. Meaning I've had to put up and deal with more at one time than this stuff. I guess the nature of the 'stuff' is what makes me feel like this. Some 'stuff' is just more important than other 'stuff'. If I can get past these feelings of ~~insecurity of who I am and what I'm doing or not doing~~ uncertainty regarding some situations I know I'd be feeling better. I am one person, with one mind, with knowledge to do what I need to get done...not to be consumed by my own thoughts or the unknown and if 'this' is supposed to be then it will be, right? I need ~~a hug and words saying everything is ok~~ to get over it and get it together. Who is this insecure, "intense" drama queen person writing this blog??

unknown out!

People that get on my nerves Pt.1

2008-06-16T11:57:00.002-05:00

Oh the life of singledom. Don't get me wrong I am content in my single life and don't often ~~whine~~ complain about not being in a relationship. I've browsed a few of the ~~dating~~ 'networking' sites and have been having a grand ole time laughing at some of the profiles and seeing why some of these fellas don't have dates. I've also gone on a few dates and some them have made this blog, some of this stuff is just people that annoy me..

Whiners and Criers

Seriously, if you're whining and crying in your profile about how you're such a great catch and how women just don't get you, yada yada yada, that's probably not the right or smart way to get someone to ~~give a damn about you~~ send you a connection email or a 'wink'. Man up punk and stop whining and crying. At least fake the funk,(I have Brad Paisley's song Online in mind) it is online and you can be who you want to be, or should I commend you for just putting it right out there that you're a whiny punk. I'm not a fan of whiners and criers in general either so it's not limited to just online profile reading. I can only take so much especially if I KNOW that someone created the problem that they're now whining about, they gets NO LOVE from the kid. I'll tell someone to Man or Wo(man) up in a heart beat!! Don't believe me, come around me whining about some BS, i'll show you..

Never give up'ers

Guy: Will you go out with me?
Girl: No
Guy: Come on, go out with me?
Girl: No thanks.
Guy: You'll have fun, I promise!
Girl: Punk, didn't you just hear me say NO?

Please, please, please! I've said no, leave me alone! If you think I'm missing out on something, then guess what?!? It's my own damned fault! More than likely I'm not missing out on anything since you feel like you have to beg in the first place.

You Owe Me an Explanation'ers

Guy: Will you go out with me?
Girl: No
Guy: Why?
Girl: Because I don't want to.
Guy: But why? Am I unattractive, does my breath smell, am I too short? What is it?
Girl: Yes, all of the above. You're ugly, your breath smells ~~like ass~~, and you're so short you'd get mistaken for my little brother that I don't have. So, let's recap. You're an ASS!!!

If you ask me out and I say no, I don't owe you an explanation. I don't owe you jack! Just take your rejection like a man and keep it movin'. Does categorizing your rejection make it any less of a rejection? I don't think so. I'll tell you this. The few times I've approached a man, if he said no, you did not see me standing around asking why. For one, rejection doesn't feel too good. With me, it kinda stings, so I need to go nurse my wounds...somewhere ELSE. Two, I don't need to know why! I don't want to know why, it might make me want to go jump off a sidewalk and hurt myself or something. Three, the person that rejected me might actually feel bad about it and they want my ass to go somewhere else too! So go! Git!

Loud Talkers

Shut the hell up! Why must you be so LOUD? I used to know someone that was so loud on the phone I had to hold the phone away from my ear while they were talking. They were so loud in public that people would tell them to shhhh!! Can some people no hear themselves and moderate their tone. Use your insdie voice! You're at a 10 and I need you at a 4..Then there are those people that stand outside my office and have loud conversations. Shut the hell up! Don't nobody wanna hear all your boring business! I'm trying to work but can't concentrate for hearing your voice droning on and on loudly. And it just so happens that on the days that I do wanna hear their business, those chumps are whispering. Go figure!

Bill Collectors 'ers

Sometimes, you nasty collection people (I tried to type that with as much venom as possible, but I don't think it carried), you really do have the WRONG number.

Nasty Collection Person 1: Hello, May I speak with Debra Smith?
Me: You have the wrong number.
Nasty Collection Person 1: This isn't 225-555-7289?
Me: Yes, it is, but my name isn't Debra Smith and no one by that name lives here
Nasty Collection Person 1: Ok, thank you.

Me: Hello?
Nasy Collection Person: Mrs. Smith, this is Nancy from Bill Collection America and I need to speak with you in regards to a debt you owe to We Know You Can't Really Afford This Crap But We'll Loan You The Money Anyway Credit Company.
Me: Didn't you just call 5 minutes ago? I told you that you had the wrong number.
Nasty Collection Person 1: Ms. Smith, you really need to talk to me. If you don't, I'll be forced to...
Me: Damn you lady, my name ain't nowhere near Debra or Smith. Quit calling me.

The next day when I got home from work, there were 3 messages from Nasty Collection Persons 2, & 3 on my voicemail. One even began his message with, "Hey Deb! This is Roger, give me a call back, k? 1-800..." like he and Deb shoot marbles and and just that cool! ha ha ha The next one he left basically told Debra that she was only making her life more difficult by avoiding him. Poor Deb sounds like she's in a whirl of financial trouble.

I'm Looking For a Women 'ers

Irregular Plurals. Here, cut these out and make yourself some flash cards.

Oh. My. Jesus. These dudes are KILLING me with that crap. It's woman!! W-O-M-A-N!! You're looking for a woman, not a women.

Woman is singular. Women is plural.

A womAn:

Some womEn:

Either you're looking for one WOMAN or you're looking for several WOMEN, and in that case you'd be looking for more than one WOMAN. You'll never, ever, ever be looking for a WOMEN. Ok? Please say ok. Ya'll are killing me. It's an epidemic. I find myself strolling through profiles gritting my teeth, restraining myself from sending nasty e-mails screaming, "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A WOMEN!!!!" If you have, "I'm looking for a women...", Or "I'm interested in woman..." on your profile, go correct that mess RIGHT now. For real. Close this blog, and go edit your profile. You ain't even gotta leave me a cnnment just go, quickly. If you need help, I'll help you, but so help me God, if you're on my friends list and I find out you've got that mess on a profile on your page, this woman is gonna delete you. I'm not playin'!! Yep, it's that crucial.

I'm sure I could go on and on about other people that annoy me and get on my nervers but today that's that made the cut. What kinda people get on your nerves?

Brown..out!

Emotional debacle in the making...

2008-06-15T21:39:00.000-05:00

Today has been a bad day. Let me clarify, a bad emotional day. I'm not one who deals with her emotions well and I have a tendency to take out my lack of ability to express myself frustrations on those around me, more specifically those who are in my inner circle. I'm often flabergasted at my inability to communicate my emotions, I don't get it. I can get up in front of millionaires, high corporate executives, kids, old people, pets, you name it and speak. I'm not one who has a fear of public speaking, it's not my favorite thing to do but I can do it, but for the life of me I don't know why I suck, for lack of a better word at talking about my feelings. My stomach is in knots right now because I think I've swallowed down so much emotions lately that they are jacking up my insides. If I were only able to say what I want to say when "Gail"(Shun) asks, what's wrong with you? or are you ok? My answer is always always, I'm good or I don't want to talk about it and most of the time I'm not "that" good and I do want to talk about it, kinda sorta but not really. I think she can tell and just let's it go. Maybe it's timing or maybe it's fear or maybe I just don't want to 'whine' about situations especially when I know there are more 'important' and pressing issues. I always figure that I'll get over whatever it is that I'm (not) dealing with at the moment and most of the times I do get over it, but today is a bad day. I'm 2 seconds from busting out in tears in CC's and instead of finishing paper number 2 that I have to turn in tonight I'm mentally clouded and trying to center my thoughts so that I can just get through this paper, go home, shower and go to bed.

Inevitably, someone will ask if I'm ok and sadly the answer will still be "I'm good." I have to find a better way of dealing with my own emotions and not projecting them on others. I've always known it wasn't a good thing to do or the right thing, or the mature thing but somehow I always end up doing that and hurting the person on the receiving end when they have nothing to do with my own turmoil. Guess the cliche' mysery loves company is true, but that's really not my intentions either, I don't know why I do what I do, but I do know that I've got to do something about all this bottled and pent up emotions or else I'm going to have my own emotional debacle nd say/do something else that I'm going to regret. I do know that I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE feeling like this. HATE.IT.

Bah humbug....out!

For all you..

2008-06-08T16:44:00.002-05:00

people that have PETA on speed dial..fishy is still alive and I changed his water today...I hope he makes it through the night..isn't that usually when they go to fishy heaven, when the water is changed..I guess I should've waited to post this tomorrow..

Brown..out!

New addition to the 2222H family..

2008-06-02T21:50:00.005-05:00

This is the new addition ~~for the moment~~ named APPOLLEAUX!!!

Here "he" is looking a little sharkish...

and blue is so my favorite color!!!

So how did I acquire this ~~new soon to be dead animal~~ addition..well, I'd been ~~whining~~ talking about wanting one for a while now. I don't know why I wanted it, just to have ~~because I'm a spoiled brat~~ it I suppose and well yesterday a friend of mine came by the house and low and behold, "Fishy" was in tow!! I'm not sure how long "fishy" will survive I hope he last longer than my last one though. I was young and in college and forgot about him ~~due to all of the drinking~~..lol, now I'm older and still may forget about him ~~due to my lazy tendencies~~, but I hope not. It was a very special gift from a very special person! Who knew that during my 5 min of fame I would be "heard"...

Brown...out!(b/c I need to go buy fishy food)..lol

And the role of the Angry Black Person is Now Being Played by...

2008-05-28T14:52:00.003-05:00

White people!

When did ya'll get so daggum angry? Not all of ya'll, just some. But dang, I thought that was some black people's burden to bear?

Really, I want it on record that I was the first to blog-coin the term AWP for Angry White People. *Even if I'm not, I'm going to continue thinking I am, so just shut up and don't say nothin'.*

The AWP's are heated up in one of the ~~racist and ignorant~~ blogs concerning Barack Obama that I idioticly came across. I won't link it because it has no real intelligence behind the words and ~~I don't want to promote the vile venom being spewed~~ I'd rather spare you guys the ignorance of seeing it lest I draw the wrath of a deranged Republican, who will fail to realize that I AM a Republican ~~because I'm black~~ as well. Deranged people of any kind will find no love here (other than moi), so check that foolishness at the door. You should be able to find that blog easily if you have myspace and look for it, that is if you particularly enjoy the lingering smell of bull and/or shit.

Have you ever seen children play and you have one kid that's not used to sharing? All you hear is "Mine, mine, mine!" The one kid is so fearful of other children coming in and getting to experience the joy that is his/her "toy", that he has an absolute hissy fit, complete with foot stomping, screaming, whining, shrieks, threats and self induced, blue-faced asphyxiation. That's exactly what I thought of while reading the venom being passed back and forth, all up and through that blog.

Better yet, maybe you've heard one of those childish arguments, "My toy is better than yours!!"
No? Well here's my interpretation of the head AWP on his blog, he sounded just like a petulant 5 year old with a snotty nose. Wanna hear it? Here it go....

Little AWP Afraid of Having His Right to be an Ass Taken Away: "My toy is better than yours!!"

Other Kid: "Why is your toy better than mine?"

Little AWP: "It just is!!"

Other Kid: "How so?"

Little AWP: "Because it is!"

Other Kid: "Well I don't want to play with your toy anyway."

Little AWP: "Yes you do! You want to take my toy and share it with all the other other kids! Then it won't be mine anymore! Then I won't be the only one who has the best toy! Then next thing you know, you and all the other other kids will take all my toys away! And the crap is only gonna go downhill from there! What I've been taught to recognize as natural born Christian and White entitlements will all be taken away! WTH kinda crap is that, you greasy, welfare accepting, fried chicken eatin', filthy liberal?? Eventually, I'll start being profiled and pulled over for Driving While Being an AWP!! A pox on you and your kind! Oh, wait. Been there, done that. Neener-Neener!!"

Other Kid: "Can I just ask, what in the name of "You don't wanna let go of Jim Crow" are you talking about? WHY is your toy better than mine? That's all I ask."

Little AWP: "No! No We Can't!! We can't answer that because we really have no answer for you! And let me tell you what else we can't do! We cannot stand idly by while our right to do whatever the fuck we wanna do whenever the fuck we wanna do it, even if it's standing on your ass, is taken away! No! My God will not have it! My Father will not have it! My Pappy won't either! We will NOT let this nation flip-flop to the point where I, the AWP of all AWP's become a bottom and not a TOP!! We'll kill you before we let this Christian nation die!! The Bible says... Shit, what did the Bible say? Never mind, I'll come back to that as soon as I find a verse that supports my position."

Other Kid: ??

Little AWP: "I heard you're a Muslim and you're going to paint my toy black when you get it!

Other Kid: "Black? Why Black?"

Little AWP: "How DARE you say this is about RACE??? Don't you people ever get tired of pulling the fabricated race card? Is there no other way to get your point across? Not one time did I say anything about anything or anyone black!!... Nobamanation!! ...Aaaaaaaggghhhhh!!"

Other Kid: "Well, actually you did."

Yeah, as ridiculous as that dialogue was, that's how ridiculous the AWP's are getting. Scared, huh?

Anything akin to progress and/or change is looked upon as encroachment by these particular AWP's, and they are afraid. And darn it if it isn't almost comical to see some of them attempting to pass themselves off as fair-minded Christians.

People like that aren't Christians, they're fronts, living a farce. They use the term Christianity to validate their ignorant ~~and racist~~ ideologies. If they were truly living their lives as deemed by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, you would not here the hatred behind the words cloaked in the name of "Christianity"

They need to have a reason for all the putrid vomit churning around in their brains, and they figure the cloak of Christianity is big enough to hide behind. They don't believe in what's best for our country, for our children. People like that believe in how best to preserve the privileges they've enjoyed from the time they were born. They don't believe in Freedom of Speech unless it's them doin' the speaking. They don't believe in anything for which they don't feel they will reap the majority benefit.

Mr. or Mrs. AWP, your hissy fit ain't gonna stop progress. You rolling around in your blog-floor kickin' and screaming, name calling and threatening isn't going to stop change. Grab a cuppa, go find yourself a seat with a cushion and watch change roll in.

Everyone has a right to exercise your vote as they see fit. The. End. No need to perpetuate the lies....unless you're scared. AWP's, if you're scared, say you're scared, I'll respect you more for it. I'm scared that gas will be $5 by the middle of the summer. I'm scared that the housing market will continue to be in a downward spiral. I'm scared that we'll be in this down trodden ~~recession~~ economy for a while longer and that my friends will be in Iraq or Afghanistan longer than they should be. I'm scared that when I retire SSI won't be available even though I'm doing all I can to have my own nest egg and won't have to ~~suck the nipple of~~ rely on the government. I'm scared that ~~when~~ if I have kids they'll have to endure the horrible school systems in La or the possibility of a school shooting. THAT is what I'm scared of. Those seem like REAL LIFE issues, to me.

Oh, and the White House will never get painted Black. Maybe a nice Mocha or Tan, Red even, but never Black. If it were me, there would most likely be a nice shade of purple and gold in one of the rooms but who would paint any room in a house black???

Brown..OUT!

*Only a coward looks to assassination as a way to halt the ~~inevitable~~ possibilty of change. Only the defeated will give the notion any credibility. No one can play mind games with you unless you let them. Take your mind back, keep your head, create your own change.*

Moving on up...to the NORTHSIDE...

2008-05-22T13:07:00.003-05:00

I'm officially back working on campus and it looks as though all of my boxes/files have made it here..GEAUX ME!

I got the ~~stuff that helps me pass my day along~~ important stuff set up yesterday and that's the computer!

Even though all these wires have to be some sort of ~~death trap~~ hazard. I'll have to think of a creative way to tape them to the carpet or something so that I'm not rolling over them or God forbid tripping over them. I'd hate to be one of "those" people who sue my employer for my own stupidity.

I'm in desperate need of some desktop space. I miss my "L" this is truly going to be ~~a pain in the ass~~ interesting once I get everything out the boxes. This is what it currently looks like as I sit and wait for ~~prisoners~~ my tax dollars to come into my office and move 3 file cabinets around to a more desirable place. I can't put anything in the cabinets or else they won't move them.

I have a GREAT view..check it out.. to the right I see this football Mecca!!

also to the right is a view of the PMAC and Alex Box stadium

and to the left is the Memorial clock tower which chimes on the 1/2 hour and hour

and if I leaaaaan all the way back to the edge of the window I can get a pic of the MS River as well. Not too shabby. I'm not looking forward to unpacking all this stuff though. I'm just ~~lazy today~~ not in a mood to unpack this stuff, but I like order and can't operate out of boxes so I'm going to pull rank on somebody in a few minutes and get them in here and get these cabinets moved so I can make sense of what kinda extra crap I'm gonna have to get to put in here so that I have space for everything. Right now I can't even put a pic up except for this one of Rockstar.

The walls here are concrete anyway so unless I really wanted to be ~~hood~~ throwback and tape all the pics to the wall I'll wait on the bookshelves I ordered 6 months ago to come in. I'm sooo not holding my breath on that one though. After all I had them ordered ~~fiftyleven thousand years ago~~ at least a month before I even started working at the new gig. **rolls eyes** Well I've gotten 3 boxes taken care of so let me get one more and call it a day! This is a long weekend for me and I'll be kicking it with my nephews!!

Brown..out!

Mostly random stuff..

2008-05-13T15:36:00.002-05:00

So the move is officially this week. We'll be moving in groups on Thursday and Friday and as of right now I'm not sure which group I'm in. What good is being Sr. Staff if I ain't in the know! I'd trade that Sr. Staff meeting to know that's for sure.. I hate that meeting! My office is all packed up, I'm working out of one box and the only thing left to pack is the computer/printer/telephone/docking station for the laptop..It's so noisy right now here. There are prisoners breaking down furniture and moving boxes...good, that my tax dollars are at work; bad that there are prisoners in my working environment..PRIME reason to go "work" from home this afternoon...

Let's see what else has been going on with me lately..my "small" business has been kicking my butt! I have an intern that does some work with me, they want experience, I want free labor, win/win! but they've had finals this month and haven't been around much so I been doing some serious grunt work. I've realized even moreso that I'm supposed to be in management and a leadership position of some sort..I HATE grunt work..I LOVE delegating the small details and I LOVE being the boss..even though I don't always like the pressure of being in management/leadership, but when I know that the owness of something is on me, I tend to take it more serious..even more serious than I already tend to be when it comes to stamping my name on something..

I have people around me that I really should cut loose for one reason or another. They're not like minded individuals and as much of a positive influence that I want to be, I'm ready to pass the baton to whoever wants it. With relationships I sometimes have a hard time knowing when to say enough is enough. That's the passive agressive, whimpy me in action. She sucks!...How much of myself must I give in order to appease the "friendship"? I'm speaking rhetorically I suppose. I guess I'm just tired of dumb stuff. There's no "big" word to really describe it. Their actions/words are just dumb to me. Maybe if I just said that, then they'd get it...

You ever have a secret that is just soooooooooooooo good that you want to tell somebody but you can't because you've given your word to somebody that you wouldn't tell a soul. That's where I am. It's a good one too. I told Rocky and his friend Stanford. I had to tell somebody! or really something in this case.. I'm typically really good at keeping confidential information, I'm like a vault, once its in, its in. That's parallel to how I am in relationships as well. If I let you in, like really let you past the security codes/gates/dogs etc etc then you're in and have full access to the real me.

That's enough, I'm hungry and need to find lunch.

Brown..IS.OUT!

Ohhh I forgot..I'm rocking the braces with NO discomfort now. whoohooo!! I'm ready for a steak!! ok, not really, but now that I can feel the bottom of my teeth eating is less of a choking hazard and more enjoyment again..I was laughing at myself earlier as I was telling some friends about how I would take a bite, chew 2 or 3 times and then swallow and pray that I don't choke. Rocky would be my only witness and he couldn't tell the story!..but yes, life with braces is moving forward and I'm pretty used to them now, brushing is still kinda awkward and flossing is a CHORE even moreso than it was before, but I do em both FREQUENTLY...braces make you more self conscience about having stuff stuck in your teeth, or maybe its just me..

Word of the Day!

2008-05-06T14:42:00.003-05:00

Mul·li·gan ..

Golf. a shot not counted against the score, permitted in unofficial play to a player whose previous shot was poor

I sure could use a mulligan today. Like a redo. Or a hit of that drug that they used on ER the other week that made you forget a few moments of an event. They injected dude with something just as they popped his shoulder back in place and when he came through, he was like, I thought ya'll were going to fix my shoulder. Little did he know it was already reset and back in place. If I could just rewind time and forget that I shouldn't let my mind multi-task and wander and pay CLOSE attention to the moment. I've done some dumb things in my life and I rarely take them back because it's part of who I am and taught me some sort of lesson, but man..I'm in the middle of something that could be colossal in my life and I think I screwed it up. Everything was lining up for this to be thee break I've been waiting for to go to the next level but damn if I didn't drop the ball. I got to the bridge and instead of crossing it, I jumped. Not only did I jump, but I seemingly pushed the opportunity in the water with me and now I'm feeling the affects of drowning, except I don't want to drown. I want a life jacket..I want to be able to tread water and hold on..to grab on to debris floating..to do anything but drown and let this opportunity not come to fruition. I've put in so much time and effort and emotions and I just KNEW this was MY TIME.."This" shouldn't count against all of "that"..maybe it won't in the end, but dude, what I wouldn't do for a mulligan.

a drowning Brown..out!

Meet the man in my life...

2008-05-05T16:25:00.004-05:00

My name is Rocky and I sneak into Angie's bed when she's not here..Ohh, I'm busted..

Yea I'll lounge in this bed but I really really like being in YOUR bed and when you're not here that's what I do..

I like to sun bath in the office on this nice futon too, its much bigger than my bed...

I thought you said you were sick..I'm here taking care of you and you're ruining it..get back on the couch..

Don't you see me chillaxing woman..

What is it with you and this camera? Can you stop for a moment.

Look at him!! Isn't he thee cutest!! This is us on one of our bonding trips. He loves nature, I love nature. Match made in heaven!!

Not what you expected eh..lol....My dog and I have a love hate relationship. I'm loving on him now since I've been doing some travelling and leaving him behind lately. He even got to stay at a doggy hotel where he had his own private room, complete with a tv, massage, and doggie icecream and other treats! That's better than being at my parents house where he habitually gets fed everything I tell them not to feed him. It's a buffett in TX!! Just thought I'd introduce blogland to my doggy Rocky, the consistent man in my life at the moment..He's part terrier(and polmeranian), part pain in my behind!

Brown..out!

Friends..how many of us have them..PART DEAUX

2008-05-05T13:45:00.000-05:00

So, my "best" friends have been giving me HELL about these braces

Courtney: "morning brace face"
Alicia: "hey brace face"
FriendA: "so how is the mouth..are your teeth moving north yet" ME: "uh I kinda want them to move east and west, but thanks for asking"
My flesh and blood sister: "hey metal mouth" "whatcha doing brace face" ME: "what do you want?" HER: nothing, thats all, bye.

Friends...how many of us have them..you guys are funny though..through all of the joking me you guys are showing genuine concern for the safety of my dental well being! Thanks guys!!! and all of you have said how cute I look in them as well. That does alot of my self esteem, not that it was low or anything, just saying...Day 3 was a little tough this morning. That whole metal habitually rubbing against flesh was getting painful, then I remembered the whole wax on, pain off tip the ortho gave me and voila! My new bestfriend!!! so I'm doing good. Eating on the other hand is still a learning experience. I refuse to look like a cow chewing my food, so in the mean time I'll take a few bites and swallow. Lawd, don't let me choke!

Brown..out!

Oh and if my friends keep calling during my workout time i'll never get another workout in again! Maybe it was just a coincidence that the 2 of you "needed" me at that time..at any rate, I'd stop time for the 2 that did "interupt" my gym time though.

I'm in a really mushy sharing mood..what is that all about???

Friends..how many of us have them..

2008-05-05T13:40:00.002-05:00

My bestfriend Tonya lives in MO and I hardly ever get to see her but that hasn't stopped us from being really good friends. We've known each other for years and the majority of our friendship we've never actually lived in the same city and now state. I have what I would say 2 bestfriends here in the Boot who are GREAT in their own ways and are really cool peeps. A week ago or so Tonya asked me why we say we're bestfriends when we hardly see each other and lately we haven't talked much to each other either. At first I was a little taken a back by the question, like, why would she question it? and what was making her question it? After we talked I saw what she was saying and really it boils down to the fact that we chose daily, weekly, monthly, whatever to make our friendship work.

I love Tonya to death and I make it a point to tell her that everytime we talk on the phone, any correspondence whatever. I love Court and Shun and Alicia to death as well. Tonya and I had a moment yesterday on the phone. I receieved a call from her right as I was stretching and about to get on the treadmill and when she asked was I busy I said of course not, I mean, I can get on that treadmill anytime, this is my BFF and she needed a sounding board and some advice. I listened and we laughed and ultimately came up with a solution to her problem that I think eased her mind. When I hung up the phone, I was smiling and it brought me back to that question, why are we best friends and to myself I said, I said, because of moments just like that!

I love you Tonya and thank you for making me aware that there will be moments where our relationship doesn't "feel" like a traditional bestfriend relationship but we will also have moments where it does "feel" JUST like a traditional bestfriend relationship, no matter how many miles we are apart!

Brown...out!

Confessions..good for the soul

2008-04-30T11:08:00.000-05:00

Isn't that what the ole cliche' says..well I'm feeling "open" and generous so here are a few of my confessions for the day.

1) I recently learned how to use the coffee pot I got a year ago as a house warming present. For me being as tech savvy as I am I couldn't get it right and the pot isn't complicated at.all. Coffe pot 1- Angie 2(made a cup this morning) Well, I tried that one time and the coffee was AWFUL so I just let the pot sit there as kitchen decoration.

2) There are times I'm really insecure about the knowledge in my head. I know a lot of stuff about a lot of different things and sometimes I think I come off as pretentious in situations even though that's not my intention. I'm just well rounded and well versed. It's a blessing and a curse depending on my surroundings.

3) I'm beginning to believe that it is meant for me to be in La even though most of the time I'm looking and longing to being back in TX and I don't know how I feel about this revelation yet.

4) I hate that I have to bust peoples bubbles because they've put me in a box..don't assume you know how I'm going to react, what I'm going to say, what my background is and what my views are on situations or what I like/don't like. Just because I don't "look" like I would (fill in whatever adjective goes here) doesn't mean that I wouldn't. Take the time to get to know me and THEN make your judgements about me.

5) People say that I'm a "good" catch, but sometimes I don't see how I am. Working out some insecurities about myself. I didn't really think I was an insecure person though, but I think everyone has some "issues" that they deal with me included.

6) I don't like passive aggressive people but in some situations, I turn into that person! ughhhh...just thinking about it the hypocriticalness of that makes me mad..why is it hard to just be to the point about stuff?

7) Contrary to popular belief, I'm a very sensitive, loving, caring, sharing, talkative, emotional, touchy feely kinda person with the right person<----thats the golden ticket.

Sharing is caring!'
Brown..out!

Word of the Day!

2008-04-30T11:00:00.007-05:00

I changed the title of this blog from what I was initially thinking this morning.

BLISS ..

Extreme happiness; ecstasy.
The ecstasy of salvation; spiritual joy.

The last 2 or 3 weeks I've been in a state of bliss. I've been really happy with my life, happy with a new found sense of self, happy with my job (even with the move and the venting), happy with my business (aside from the unprofessional client that made me want to strangle him, happy with being the snooze button for someone ..It's amazing that for me to be one to abhor change, at times I gladly embrace it as well. Bliss, extreme happiness; ecstasy. That just sounds JOYFUL doesn't it. Something new is going on in my life right now and I don't know when "it" happened, how "it" happened or how long "it" will have me feeling this way, but man, I'm kinda worried because I have an addictive personality and I'd hate to be strung out behind some bliss!

I did find it interesting that that definition included the ecstacy of spiritual salvation. I remember when I got saved for real (June 2003) and I was totally blissful that's for sure. That's not what I want to talk about though..I wonder where the phrase ignorance is bliss derived from and if it had anything to do with spiritual salvation. Meaning, were they dogging the folks for getting saved? Were they thinking that they're just too ignorant to know that salvation means nothing? I'm not really in a philosophical mood right now but seeing that made me think if some atheist came up with that phrase and people use it unknowingly the true meaning. I have a feeling I'm kinda right though and I'm not saying that in an arrogant manner, but I'm just saying.

Brown..out!